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Traffic Tickets...Car Accidents... Just Call Me Target!

Ok so I must preface this post by saying this is all in FUN... OK so if your panties get all twisted in a bunch and you want to rant on about how great officers are then well... this all in FUN so CHILL! ;)

So ever since I moved to Idaho nearly 10 years ago I have lived in Canyon County. In June we moved into Ada County. Up until 2006 I had NEVER received any sort of traffic ticket. Yes I'd been pulled over a few times for headlight out, etc...but always with a minor warning. (I guess Montana cops are just nicer ;)

In 2006 I found myself speeding along the freeway and whoops... my first ticket ever at the age of 24. Not 1 week later... rushing ironically to the bank to get my drivers license (that they had forgotten to return to me)I got slapped with another ticket. ROTTEN I tell ya... geez...

2006 was also the first serious car wreck... rear-ended at a dead stop by a car full of teenagers 2 of which left lovely head rings on the windshield... due to not wearing set belts. Fast forward 1 year and 1 day later (weird I know) BAM! Hit by an illegal immigrant, with no insurance and an expired Mexico drivers license... OOOO it gets better... I manage to make it 1 year and 6 months and then while 8 months pregnant I get rear-ended yet again! At this point my friends all joked I needed to get "Target" put on my license plate or "just aim here" with arrows pointing to an actual target on my cars rear... I have a fabulous insurance company, Geico and they really helped getting everything taken care of even though the accidents weren't my fault.

November 2009 just 7 months later... My only "at fault" accident. Rolled my Yukon while driving 35mph around a bend near Kooskia Idaho. SUV was totaled... no one hurt and I actually made money on that one. After that though I was thinking what in the world does the driving world have against me... errr or am I really a Target... like in one of those spy movies... is somebody after me *cue suspenseful music*

Well I had put all that scary target voo doo behind me and had all but forgotten my rotten luck that is until This past November... Kale goes to preschool on a street connected to a very busy road. It can be extremely hard to get out into traffic and well you kinda just have to gun it and get out there. So one day I arrived at preschool only to discover I had read the calendar wrong and there was no preschool that day... Fail #1... so I get to the busy road gun it into traffic reach the top of the hill remember "crap, it's a construction zone" hit the breaks but oops... to late SUCKER... here is mister motorcycle cop...and busted Fail #2 So he pulls me over and very kindly waves the double fine fee for construction zones but as I'm handing him my paperwork I see that I haven't replaced my insurance card since I renewed Fail #3! So he tells me no worries just send a copy of new card in when I pay my $86 (AHHHHHH!)

Exactly 2 weeks later...same time, same place same exact situation. "Hello officer, can I bring you cookies next time since I keep meeting you like this =)" We laugh and he very kindly allows me to explain how difficult it is to get out on the road etc... and again very kindly warns me and no ticket. I swear this is the only nice cop in Ada County! Except my faith in him went down when I saw him pull someone over in the middle of the road and proceed to give them a ticket right in the flow of traffic... ummm ok...

1 month later... On my way to Soleil's school for a class party I am organizing. I have just enough time for everything but I am rushing a little. I see a cop and glance down and drat 44 in a 40. He sticks his arm out his window as he turns on his lights...and starts yelling at me and jabbing his finger at me as if to say "Hey you idiot, I'm in charge here now pull over before I tazer you!" Ok well it felt that scary ...hahaha He pulls me over asks how fast I was going I said 44 ...he says oh I clocked you at 49 and that's pretty much the same...ummm no... ones a ticket ones not... I take the ticket and later schedule a court date to fight it.

1 month later...same stretch of road... at this point I'm setting my cruise control just to drive a block...I'm super paranoid minding all of the laws... two hands on the wheel... I make the mistake of picking up my phone at a top light to view an email. My head looking up and down to check to make sure light isn't green. When it turns green I put phone down and drive. Right after that phone rings... I don't know caller... I make the mistake of trying to dismiss the call and stupid touch screen and my head bobs up and down and then I see lights! At this point no nice words are being thought in my head. I swear Meridian cops get off on giving tickets and have a pool at work to see who can have the most hits on one person...GEEZ! So the officer pulls me over in my daughters school parking lot right at pick up time... fun huh? Swaggers up to my window and immediately lays into me about how I was texting and driving... ummm ...no I wasn't as I try to explain he proceeds to tell me I'm a liar and on and on. When steam finally stops pouring from his fat red face. I explain and he tells me that's the same as texting and driving. I apologize and tell him I just moved into Ada county etc... NO warning.. $126 and yes I set a court date...

So I'm thinking... maybe the "target" voo doo is back and really what's next... maybe I should invest in a bike with a 3 kid trailer? But then I'd probably get pulled over for biking under the influence of children.

;)

I Turned 30... now get off my lawn!

Geez... I promised this post last weekend and now finally here it is.

February 6, 1982 ...I'm sure my mother knows the exact time, weight and length... I came into this world a little red headed baby born in Houston, Texas. The first born of what would one day be 8 children born to Keith and Nancy Simmons.

I don't know quite which direction to take this post... OMG! 8 kids or what life has taught me in 30 years... there are a bunch of random thoughts rolling around in my head. But by now you must know I'm brutally honest and if I offend anyone I will just blame it on turning 30.

For multiple reasons going from 29 to 30 seemed like the year of growing up. Turning from a lot of ideas and beliefs I'd held onto since child hood. Dealing with issues I had buried over the years and just in general cleaning the closets out of my heart and mind. Part of all this was just really really looking inside and starting to figure out what I, Karissa Patterson believe, love and enjoy. Not what my family believes, my friends or my church...but ME. My friend Kate brought up in a recent conversation that the Bible talks about working out your OWN salvation. Not your spouses, not your childs, not other people from church...but your OWN. So that's been a part of my closet cleaning. De-cluttering myself from what I'm expected to do by others and what I do because of my relationship with God. A running theme lately has been paying attention to YOUR self and your heart and TRULY not the things of others because in the end we are all accountable for US not anyone else no matter how big a role we play in their lives.

Another things I've really been working on is fear. All the things I do because I fear something. Fear what others will think...fear for my finances... I read the best post from probably my favorite blogger "Single Dad Laughing" The post entitled "whose life is it anyways" I just want to be real and raw and I'm getting braver about just being who I truly am regardless of the fear of what others may think. I don't really know if it's turning 30 or just the trials of the last year and a half... but I like it. I feel a newness and freedom inside.

One REALLY random thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is how sad I feel at all the young kids getting married. This is probably were I start ducking from rotten tomatoes but this is my blog and my opinion...

I got married at 20 almost 21. I hadn't experienced too much of life yet. I see a lot of kids getting married at 19, 20, 21 and too me I think WOW! DON'T DO IT! Because I KNOW from getting married at that age that no matter what they tell themselves (because of the beliefs we've been taught)a HUGE part of getting married young is to have sex. Yes I said it SEX SEX SEX... Because somehow in my opinion WAY TOO MUCH emphasis is put on this beautiful act. So we go into marriage this young kid thinking that because we did (or didn't) wait for marriage for it that it equals 85% of marriage... that it's so dang important that no matter what happens sex will fix it...that a great marriage is because of great sex. Turning 30... thought here... a great big *insert loud buzzer sound* NO! Great sex is BECAUSE of a great marriage... it's about 10% of marriage and not the other way around... because all too soon there are kids and work and by the end of the day if you don't focus on having a great marriage... and even if you have one sometimes sleep is waaaay more appealing than sex. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE sex...man do I ever... BUT if your marriage is sucky... even the best sex isn't going to make it great again. So here's my 2 cents for all you "kids" thinking you need to hurry up and get married because you want to have sex soooo bad... Wait on getting married if that's your big reason! Go live your life! Go explore the world, the endless possibilities of life, GROW UP A LITTLE! It may not feel like it but you have TONS of time. Get a job, learn a skill, travel, get a place of your own, become a grown-up! Then when you find that person you CANNOT live without...for every reason (not just sex) you will go in with your eyes open.

Ok so I don't want to end on something so heavy duty...so here's the FUN thing I did turning 30 =)

I changed my hair. I've pretty much had the same hair for the last 15 years! So I made the appointment... as the day drew closer my hair stylist kept asking me if I was sure and I said yes yes yes! Her and I both looked at tons of pictures and after 3 1/2 hours in the chair... Here is the result! (sorry it's not better)

Go be amazing! Be everything YOU were created to be! and read this blog post...it just might change your life...

The Bullies- Special Blog Tour on Spreading Love not Hate by standing up against bullying.

 So today along with about 85 other bloggers I am doing a post on bullying.


Bullying comes in many forms...physical violence, verbal violence, cyber bullying etc... It also spans every race, gender, religion and age. It's sad in any form. It's sad for those being bullied and it's really sad to me for those that feel so lost inside that they feel the need to hurt others. So here is my contribution...my personal story of being bullied. (Names have been changed except mine)

In Jr. High the church youth group I was a part of was pretty small about 20 kids at most and the core group was about 10. There were 2 boys in particular that everyone had a love/hate relationship with Ben and John. Ben and John were brothers. the middle children in a strict military family of 4 kids. An often absent father who when he was around was harsh and angry and a mother well...know one really knew. She seemed sweet and loving but also a little frightened. It seemed Ben and John tried to keep the kids in the youth group somewhat afraid of them, but also it seemed like the kids would also try to hang out with them and be part of their "cool group." I for one was never in any "cool group." I was me no matter what... sometimes kids loved me and sometimes they called me goody goody. But one thing for sure after a couple years I'd had enough of Ben and Johns B.S.  They knew I was not a fan of them and their controlling and manipulating ways with all the other kids. One night it all came down...

We had just spent the day an hour away from town at our youth directors house. He had put us to work and then rewarded us with an evening bonfire and hayride. Ben and John once again were at it again and tried to pick a fight with a boy named David. I shouted at them to all knock it off...I'd had enough! "At least fight one on one you big jerks I yelled... this two against one crap is for wimps." WHOA!!! Had I REALLY just spoke up like that... their looks told me I would pay later. Girl or boy they really didn't care...

Unfortunately the hour ride home with one adult as the driver took a turn for the worst. They started in on me right away "So you think your just a great big goody goody...think it's your job to tell us how to fight." I replied only with a glare. For some reason they then left me alone but began berating the girl next to me a couple years younger than me. Ashley immediately began crying as they laid into her about being a little momma's girl that "nobody liked anyways" It was absolutely horrible and I COULD NOT sit there any longer. I leaned over and whispered to Ashley to just put her head down and ignore them... she did so and continued to quietly sob. Mind you this ENTIRE hour ride (which seemed like 10) the adult driving did NOTHING... the older brother of Ben and John did feebly throw in a "knock it off" once, but I was in awe at the pure hate flowing out of these boys mouths... Church kids mind you...supposed to know better, do better, believe in right and wrong and DO IT. Once Ashley had put her head down they took a swing at her and I threw my arm up to block their blow. This REALLY set them off in the verbal sewage.  Most of what they said I CANNOT even post in this blog... but really 14 and 15 year old boys speaking this way to ANYONE is utterly horrible and wrong. One thing I clearly remember them saying is "Your such a good little Christian girl, but while we are partying in hell, God is going to be raping you in heaven." REALLY! Who says stuff like that? Eventually through my tears of both anger and humiliation. I told them I felt sorry for them. That all they knew was anger and hatred... of course they laughed.


When the van arrived at the church I grabbed Ashley's hand and practically dove out of the vehicle. I ran into the building while Ashley still crying went to her mother's car. My mom was there to pick me up and after I explained what had happened she literally kicked a chair across the office. My mom is the most laid back non-violent person I know. Another of the youth directors was there and gave me the typical "be the bigger person" speech...to which I in total anger replied "That's the kind of shit that let's these boys keep getting away with this crap!" Yes I said those words and in front of my mother... but I was pissed!

After all that they boys were banned from youth group for the next year. They could come to church but always had to sit with their parents who as far as I know did absolutely nothing. Ben eventually wrote Ashely and I an apology note while John grumbled something about being sorry.

Ashley's mother and father as well as our pastor dubbed me a "hero" for defending her. Little did I know how much that meant to Ashley who I found out later had already been the victim of sexual abuse by her biological father. I didn't really feel like much of a hero. I just knew I couldn't stand by one more minute and let these boys continue to tear others down.

I'm saddened that it took a 15 year old girl to finally stop them when countless adults could have stepped in long before. NO matter your age you can STOP bullying... don't be afraid... just follow your heart and DO WHATS RIGHT! I'm so glad I did.

To see others stories about bullies...

Time

Although life has been less than smooth the last year and a half as I have stated in a previous post I've embraced MY dream. The dream of being a stay at home mom and actually knowing and believing it's ok and NOTHING more is required of me. I am an Independant Scentsy Director but until my kids are in school all that takes a back seat to them. From about September 1st until end of December my Scentsy business is beyond crazy and along with school activities and holiday stuff well it's a little nutty.

But once January 1st is over I get to take a deep breath and take more time to do the things I  love and enjoy. I've been LOVING not rushing off to go anywhere most days. I've been doing some fun little sewing and decorating projects and trying to post here more than once every never =) But best of all I've just been getting down on the floor and really connecting with my boys. While sister is off at school we snuggle in bed until we are ready to be awake...errr I mean I'm ready. Then we hang out in our pj's for awhile and make a late breakfast. I've been especially conscious and making an extra effort to bring them close and hug them and kiss them and tell them I LOVE them and most of the time they say "I love you too momma" Melt your heart, right =)

In the midst of so much emotional turmoil inside so many families. I really hope and pray that the grown-ups can put their differences aside and simply draw close to their children. If you can't invest in your spouse anymore why not throw your time, talent, attention and love onto your kids. After all they are the greatest rewards that came out of your relationship anyways... and if your kids should remember anything about Dad and Mom...it should be how much time and love they gave them.


So do me a favor... grab each one of your kids at least once today and tell them how much you love and treasure them and give them a big hug! I just bet they will smile and give you one back =)

Surrender

So I give up, I quit, I can't do it any more... Emotionally I'm spent... I felt a little bit like a failure admitting this to myself last week. But then I talked to one of my best friends last night and she used a GREAT word Surrender.


The great thing about this word is that it takes the focus off of me. It doesn't mean I'm a failure it means I am letting someone with more power take over. To me that's God. For much too long I've been trying to make my life work in my own strength. I've tried absolutely EVERYTHING I can think of to make my marriage work. Last week I told my heart it was time to stop. Stop trying and last night I realized it wasn't failing...quitting or giving up. It was simply surrender. Sometimes even though WE try our hardest some things we simply cannot force or control. I simply can't force or control my husband and his ability to love me the way I need to be loved. It hurts yes but it's ok. It's taken me over a year to get to this place of surrender because every ounce of me wants to fight for my marriage. But really when I took that step in my heart and I realized it was time to let go. To SURRENDER completely surrender my emotions, my fears, my efforts... a peace swept in.

Over these last 14 months... small pieces of peace have entered my heart. One item, one challenge, one area at a time. It's like God telling me. You are done striving over that and then He brings peace. This was another area I needed to surrender. It just took me a long long time.

So what's the next step... and here is where I usually am very open but I am going to choose to say it's personal... it's going to be gradual... but I'm done striving and I'm surrendered.

Family Pics

I'm really terrible about keeping up with pics but here is this years pics... courtesy of Tamara Kenyon Photography =)

Klayton is 2 ...

Kale is 4...
Soleil is 7...