Tuesday, December 25, 2012

How to handle your newly divorced friends... Or at least me =)

This has been riding on my mind for awhile and after yet another conversation with a married friend the other evening here goes.

Just because I am now without a husband does NOT mean I can't function around married couples.

Let me elaborate... I'm sure this goes for widows, divorced, break-ups and also in this economy "widows" those wives of deployed husbands or husbands working out of town constantly...

Please I say this on behalf of us all... INVITE us to events, gatherings, parties, dinner ANYTHING... its totally fine for us to be around married people even if we aren't anymore or our husband can't make it... In fact we feel sad, left out and just plain awkward when we don't go... I would say in fact it's VITAL to us feeling normal and going on with life.

I'm still perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation with married adults and no I'm not going to hit on your husband LOL...I say this because I've had a circle of friends and church family that I've known for 10 years... I STILL want to be your friends even if I no longer have a husband... That's why I still attend the "young marrieds" class and activities... because you see even though my marital status has changed. I still NEED you guys... I still need to hear about your kids...your lives and your marriages.

Now one friend pointed out that maybe its YOU that feels awkward as a married person... what do I say, act, do for someone who's divorced... Treat us NORMAL... we aren't going to crumble or fall into a pile of tears if you kiss your husband in front of us or talk about how happy you are in your marriage... I am surprised and happy at how incredibly HAPPY I am for those in a happy relationship...

It gives me hope and strength to know that it IS possible =) So PLEASE talk about how your husband is amazing or your wife is hot! It doesn't bother me or make me feel sorry for myself... quite the opposite in fact... it give me hope that out there... REAL...TRUE ... HONORABLE... Love exists and perhaps even for me again some day =)

So your wondering what you can do to help us through this transition... treat us normal... be a phone call away for us and continue to be our friend and share your life... we miss feeling normal...

Love Me... Divorced...Mom...


  1. Amen though i have never married i am a single mom and love to be around my friends not matter there relationship staus and live to be invited out even if i am not married... Because as you say it gives me hope that i to may find someone that God has planned for me someday !!!!

  2. This is very helpful for people who might "just be wondering". Normal is good. Thanks for the advise. 8~) Love ya.

  3. Holy crap I love this post!!!!! Amen!!! You need to share this on the "What I Want You To Know" series on rageagainsttheminivan.com.

    Love you, Karissa! So so well said :)

  4. Thanks for this. It's good to hear it from someone who knows. Not that we wish you did know, but thanks for being so honest and candid about it. :) ~Jaime