I changed a few things in my life lately... A lot has happened... Some that is good and some that is not so good...
So it's time for me to get back to blogging and maybe just maybe some of what is happening to me will be a source of help to you...now or maybe in the future...
We all tend to live in a bubble ... a bubble of "our own little world" and for me my bubble burst in mid-November. My husband of 8 years announced he never loved me. Hmmmm... I don't really believe that.
My initial shock wore off, a ton of other crap happened and it got really really ugly and now here we are 3 months later... He moved out two weeks ago... He needs his space...needs to find out who he is... needs to figure out what's best for him.
And in my head I am screaming... "what about me and your kids? Does anyone matter besides you?" "What about God? What about what the Bible teaches?"
"You don't get it" he says to me... no I don't and I probably never will.
and you know what I do about all of this...what can I do really? Every morning I pray for strength. I pray to not be angry, to show my husband unconditional love regardless of what is happening... does it happen...some days and some days I screw up by 10 a.m.
So what's going to happen?
I have no idea... but NOTHING surprises God and He sees the end of this even if I can't...
So one day at a time... am I perfect...no...am I trusting God...trying to...
Just Breathe...One Day At a Time...
and the one most amazing thing that has come from this... I have my relationship back with God... have I "arrived" absolutely not... but I am back with my Saviour and talking to him and reading His word like NEVER before...and if that is the only good that comes from it... that's good enough...
Karissa,
ReplyDeleteThanks for telling us...
God Knows everything..He knows peoples hearts.
We will continue to pray for you and your family.
I love you,
Mommy 2
Ugh.
ReplyDeleteSo many thoughts....I don't know where to start or end. Karissa, gigantic hugs to you!! I am so, so sorry about all of this. It's not something I pictured you having to face. This has got to be one of the most devastating things a person can go through, and I'm sure you feel a range of emotions any given day (and night) - - which is fine! Thanks so much for writing about it.
I have been really flabbergasted by this, and it has taken me some time to wrap my head around it. But I am praying for and thinking of you quite often.
Please go easy on yourself! Allow yourself to experience each feeling, to analyze each thought, without guilt, and really face them. That's the only way true mourning and healing can occur. Eventually, you'll be in the mind and heart place you want to be, no matter the outcome.
xoooxoxooxoox
I'm glad you finally wrote about this. I hope it will prove to be cathartic for you.
ReplyDeleteI too can't fathom what Aaron was thinking. I do fear that he has a lifetime of regret and sorrow ahead of him.
I am so incredibly sad for you. But I'm also really hopeful. I feel like the world is going to open up for you in a whole new way, and you will experience a new kind of joy that you've not yet imagined.
Until that joy comes (and even when it does), we will be here for you to listen whenever you need it and to pray without ceasing.
You are beautiful.
You are loved.
You are an incredible mama and you will be an incredible partner once again.
Karissa, thanks for sharing this. I don't know what I can add to the wise words already written, but just know that you are being prayed for and lifted up more often than you know. Hold on to Jesus, to your family and to your true friends, and you'll make it through. You are loved ♥♥♥
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