It it possible?

I just got in the mail a book that I have heard both good and bad about and although I am only 4 chapters in has helped me greatly...

It's called "Created to Be His Help Meet" By Debi Pearl

If you decide to read it you REALLY must go with an open heart and prayfulness because it's a "hard" read yet I have found even in the few chapters and couple days of owning it that her advice really does help...

Is it possible that we as wives hold such great power? Is it possible that unconditional love and respect towards our husbands can really provide such amazing results... Time will tell in my case... but in the many letters she gets of wives rejoicing because they read, they listened and most importantly they OBEYED...

Is it possible that we hear over and over what we should do and what we should not do and we see others living joy filled lives because of obedience to God and we see others live pain filled lives because of disobedience and yet I myself just didn't "get it"... until now...

Is it possible that God in me makes "trying" to love my husband unconditionally...not like trying at all... See before I tried to do this and I tried to do that to not react to situations and to put on a smile... BUT did you see all the "I" in there... Something about the last 2 weeks ...a change in my heart... has made loving him flow naturally... and it's not about what I deserve or he deserves ... because we ALL deserve one thing... HELL...

Is it possible that I am finally seeing how Jesus is my true example? Is it possible that trying to be like him as much as possible opens my heart to love, forgive and eventually forget the hurt? Is it possible that even the world says "get rid of him" "you deserve better" "there are other fish int he sea" that even though even other Christians think I am a door mat or lack self-respect... Is it possible that really all I am doing is a tiny fraction of what Christ does for us every day?

See for several weeks I had trapped in my mind that IF things were ever going to get better or work out with my marriage that HE would have to do this and this and this and God would have to change HIM and HIS heart... But last Sunday and from reading God's word and this book... my heart has changed...and HE can tell a difference in ME trying and GOD flowing through me...

Is it possible that what we hear all the time about working on yourself and allowing God to change MY heart can really make all the difference...You see back to being like Christ... WE are the ones who hurt our Saviour (our spouse) all the time... and does he ask us to change to clean up our act to win HIM back? No. Is it possible that I can see the example my Saviour set for me and how our Lord seeks to win US back... IS it possible though I have been hurt that I can do the winning? Through being the wife I should have been all along and was too stubborn and selfish to change?

Is it possible?

With God ALL things are possible... and although everyone around you may think your a fool... God honors obedience... and even in just one week of having a changed heart... I've seen it...

So who knows... God does... and NOTHING is more important than this day...

What can you do?

When searching My Computer History...

Ok so I must admit that I often search the history on my computer... several different people use it...me...babysitters and my husband when he is here with the kids... It's just a habit I have gotten into...Anyways...so I have been reading a Blog called "Single Dad Laughing" that I stumbled upon a few weeks ago on a friends Facebook page...

So looking through yesterday's history I see that Aaron visited the site as well and so I read the article that he had taken a look at and I was REALLY appreciative of what the guy had to say...

So it's for guys by a guy so share it with the guys in your life and it's an AWESOME read for us women too...

http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html.

And there it was smack across the page...

So really throughout this entire trying time... God has placed people or Bible verses right in front of me at EXACTLY the right time...

I don't even know why I am surprised anymore but I continue to be AMAZED...

Yesterday was no exception...

Walk into church expecting regular old Sunday School and low and behold we have a special speaker and we get to split up ladies and men (I LOVE these times because we get stuff especially for us girls and likewise the guys get stuff just for them)

So the first thing I notice about our special speaker is she has beautiful blond hair and her nails are nicely manicured... I appreciate that because I love having nice nails even if they are fake...anyways...

THEN she scores with all of us by passing out bags with CANDY in them...oh the smiles =)

SO she proceeds to teach us about how we are like the 3 candies in the bag...

M&M's- We are all different just like all the colors...there are plain, peanut, coconut, pretzel, peanut butter and many more... But we are all part of the body of Christ... (now here is where I REALLY started listening)

The shell on the outside of the m&m is God... during the trials of like we just need to cling to God and let him protect us and be with us...

The cry Baby- Is bitterness and anger (ouch) ...pretty easy for me to be that one right now... to hate the ones that have hurt me and hold it against them forever... But really trials CAN often times be for our good... to grow as a person or actually save us from worse hurt... i.e. ever run late getting out the door and be all upset and then PASS an accident that happened only moments before...? Aren't you glad you had the "trial" of running late?

The last one was laughy taffy- She talked about being a fun person... being someone that your kids and spouse WANT to be around because you know how to have fun... so to me this meant "LIGHTEN UP ALREADY" It's so easy for me to get focused on the things that "need" to get done that I forget to just take time to have fun with my kids and my husband...

BUT the big thing that got me wasn't even something she talked about...it was what was right across the page from the verse she read us in Romans... and this is what it said...

Romans 12:
¹⁷Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

¹⁸If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

¹⁹Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

²⁰Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

²¹Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

AND IT HIT ME RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.... Now God over the last few weeks has been bringing parts of this passage to my mind but I hadn't really known where it was found...

During all this I have been VERY Angry and many people would say "rightly so" BUT when I read this I realized something ... NO MATTER WHAT... I need to obey this passage... NO matter if it brings my husband back around and a miracle happens in our marriage or if we end up parting ways... Obeying this passage IS going to be a good thing...

The first thing I did to obey it was buy my husband's favorite candy ...it even came in coconut which is a HUGE plus... and when he walked in this morning to pick up our daughter for school... I was there... BIG smile and I handed it to him and told him "Happy Valentine's Day and gave him a hug and told him I loved him" (I thought he might mess his pants)

I went upstairs to help Soleil finish getting ready...after they left I noticed that the new decorative sign I made was hung above the TV... I can't reach it so I had put it in the corner... He NOTICED and he hung it... which may seem like small stuff but normally it is like pulling teeth to get him to hang ANYTHING... so me not even mentioning it... is AMAZING...

So anyways... long post but I want to share even the small victories =)

A lot has happened ...

I changed a few things in my life lately... A lot has happened... Some that is good and some that is not so good...

So it's time for me to get back to blogging and maybe just maybe some of what is happening to me will be a source of help to you...now or maybe in the future...

We all tend to live in a bubble ... a bubble of "our own little world" and for me my bubble burst in mid-November. My husband of 8 years announced he never loved me. Hmmmm... I don't really believe that.

My initial shock wore off, a ton of other crap happened and it got really really ugly and now here we are 3 months later... He moved out two weeks ago... He needs his space...needs to find out who he is... needs to figure out what's best for him.

And in my head I am screaming... "what about me and your kids? Does anyone matter besides you?" "What about God? What about what the Bible teaches?"

"You don't get it" he says to me... no I don't and I probably never will.

and you know what I do about all of this...what can I do really? Every morning I pray for strength. I pray to not be angry, to show my husband unconditional love regardless of what is happening... does it happen...some days and some days I screw up by 10 a.m.

So what's going to happen?

I have no idea... but NOTHING surprises God and He sees the end of this even if I can't...

So one day at a time... am I perfect...no...am I trusting God...trying to...

Just Breathe...One Day At a Time...

and the one most amazing thing that has come from this... I have my relationship back with God... have I "arrived" absolutely not... but I am back with my Saviour and talking to him and reading His word like NEVER before...and if that is the only good that comes from it... that's good enough...

Car seat Safety...

Many people I know if they know me for very long will hear me say something about car seat safety...I have posted one video below but there are a bunch on UTUBE...

I was in a serious car wreck in November of last year along with my 3 kids...no one was injured, but ALL of my children were properly restrained and their car seats properly installed...

I can't tell you how many times I see photos or videos of kids sitting in their car seats with their upper buckle down to their belly button or see a tiny child forward facing or see a car in motion and the car seat is rocking back and forth... SCARY... In our car wreck we rolled! Had my children not been properly restrained I shudder to think what could have happened...I am sure one or more of them would have flew out of their seats and hit a window or worse been ejected!

PLEASE for the love of your child(ren) watch a couple videos and just make ABSOLUTELY sure that EVERY time ANYONE puts your child in a car that they are in the proper car seat and properly restrained...

I don't care WHO makes fun of me or what they say about me being "anal" ....our children our precious ....let's protect them and it really takes no time at all to make sure they are safe!

Securing Child in Britax Forward-Facing Car Seat

Sorry I forgot to take these pics until they were already covered in plastic in the back of my Expedition...haha

Monstor Truck Cake

Today was our church's annual Master Club Carnival and the popular event is the cake walk...there must have been over 100 cakes there!

I made 6... and by popular demand I made the monstor truck cake again...
Literally just a crumbly mess of cake, graham crackers, frosting and small chocolate donuts and of course a mud pit and monster truck!

Next up...the Sunflower made with a round cake and twinkies.


Then there is the Hot Air Balloon...a round cake decorated with gum drops and a graham cracker basket....

Flower Cake...
The petals are made with marsh-mellows and whopper centers...it was supposed to be a really cute purse but it kept falling over...oh well. Soleil liked it so much she did the cake walk and got it back...yummy!


Just for fun an m&m cake


Last the leftover cake... everything that was left from frosting to candy got put on this cake...

And here is poor Kale...begging me to PLEASE let him have some of these cakes he has been looking at for 24 hours! (Don't worry he had some for dinner tonight =)