Just Because I Need To Say It

The Bullies- Special Blog Tour on Spreading Love not Hate by standing up against bullying.

2012-02-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

So today along with about 85 other bloggers I am doing a post on bullying.

Bullying comes in many forms...physical violence, verbal violence, cyber bullying etc... It also spans every race, gender, religion and age. It's sad in any form. It's sad for those being bullied and it's really sad to me for those that feel so lost inside that they feel the need to hurt others. So here is my contribution...my personal story of being bullied. (Names have been changed except mine)

In Jr. High the church youth group I was a part of was pretty small about 20 kids at most and the core group was about 10. There were 2 boys in particular that everyone had a love/hate relationship with Ben and John. Ben and John were brothers. the middle children in a strict military family of 4 kids. An often absent father who when he was around was harsh and angry and a mother well...know one really knew. She seemed sweet and loving but also a little frightened. It seemed Ben and John tried to keep the kids in the youth group somewhat afraid of them, but also it seemed like the kids would also try to hang out with them and be part of their "cool group." I for one was never in any "cool group." I was me no matter what... sometimes kids loved me and sometimes they called me goody goody. But one thing for sure after a couple years I'd had enough of Ben and Johns B.S. They knew I was not a fan of them and their controlling and manipulating ways with all the other kids. One night it all came down...

We had just spent the day an hour away from town at our youth directors house. He had put us to work and then rewarded us with an evening bonfire and hayride. Ben and John once again were at it again and tried to pick a fight with a boy named David. I shouted at them to all knock it off...I'd had enough! "At least fight one on one you big jerks I yelled... this two against one crap is for wimps." WHOA!!! Had I REALLY just spoke up like that... their looks told me I would pay later. Girl or boy they really didn't care...

Unfortunately the hour ride home with one adult as the driver took a turn for the worst. They started in on me right away "So you think your just a great big goody goody...think it's your job to tell us how to fight." I replied only with a glare. For some reason they then left me alone but began berating the girl next to me a couple years younger than me. Ashley immediately began crying as they laid into her about being a little momma's girl that "nobody liked anyways" It was absolutely horrible and I COULD NOT sit there any longer. I leaned over and whispered to Ashley to just put her head down and ignore them... she did so and continued to quietly sob. Mind you this ENTIRE hour ride (which seemed like 10) the adult driving did NOTHING... the older brother of Ben and John did feebly throw in a "knock it off" once, but I was in awe at the pure hate flowing out of these boys mouths... Church kids mind you...supposed to know better, do better, believe in right and wrong and DO IT. Once Ashley had put her head down they took a swing at her and I threw my arm up to block their blow. This REALLY set them off in the verbal sewage. Most of what they said I CANNOT even post in this blog... but really 14 and 15 year old boys speaking this way to ANYONE is utterly horrible and wrong. One thing I clearly remember them saying is "Your such a good little Christian girl, but while we are partying in hell, God is going to be raping you in heaven." REALLY! Who says stuff like that? Eventually through my tears of both anger and humiliation. I told them I felt sorry for them. That all they knew was anger and hatred... of course they laughed.

When the van arrived at the church I grabbed Ashley's hand and practically dove out of the vehicle. I ran into the building while Ashley still crying went to her mother's car. My mom was there to pick me up and after I explained what had happened she literally kicked a chair across the office. My mom is the most laid back non-violent person I know. Another of the youth directors was there and gave me the typical "be the bigger person" speech...to which I in total anger replied "That's the kind of shit that let's these boys keep getting away with this crap!" Yes I said those words and in front of my mother... but I was pissed!

After all that they boys were banned from youth group for the next year. They could come to church but always had to sit with their parents who as far as I know did absolutely nothing. Ben eventually wrote Ashely and I an apology note while John grumbled something about being sorry.

Ashley's mother and father as well as our pastor dubbed me a "hero" for defending her. Little did I know how much that meant to Ashley who I found out later had already been the victim of sexual abuse by her biological father. I didn't really feel like much of a hero. I just knew I couldn't stand by one more minute and let these boys continue to tear others down.

I'm saddened that it took a 15 year old girl to finally stop them when countless adults could have stepped in long before. NO matter your age you can STOP bullying... don't be afraid... just follow your heart and DO WHATS RIGHT! I'm so glad I did.

To see others stories about bullies...

Time

2012-01-26T15:06:00.000-08:00

Although life has been less than smooth the last year and a half as I have stated in a previous post I've embraced MY dream. The dream of being a stay at home mom and actually knowing and believing it's ok and NOTHING more is required of me. I am an Independant Scentsy Director but until my kids are in school all that takes a back seat to them. From about September 1st until end of December my Scentsy business is beyond crazy and along with school activities and holiday stuff well it's a little nutty.

But once January 1st is over I get to take a deep breath and take more time to do the things I love and enjoy. I've been LOVING not rushing off to go anywhere most days. I've been doing some fun little sewing and decorating projects and trying to post here more than once every never =) But best of all I've just been getting down on the floor and really connecting with my boys. While sister is off at school we snuggle in bed until we are ready to be awake...errr I mean I'm ready. Then we hang out in our pj's for awhile and make a late breakfast. I've been especially conscious and making an extra effort to bring them close and hug them and kiss them and tell them I LOVE them and most of the time they say "I love you too momma" Melt your heart, right =)

In the midst of so much emotional turmoil inside so many families. I really hope and pray that the grown-ups can put their differences aside and simply draw close to their children. If you can't invest in your spouse anymore why not throw your time, talent, attention and love onto your kids. After all they are the greatest rewards that came out of your relationship anyways... and if your kids should remember anything about Dad and Mom...it should be how much time and love they gave them.

So do me a favor... grab each one of your kids at least once today and tell them how much you love and treasure them and give them a big hug! I just bet they will smile and give you one back =)

Surrender

2012-01-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

So I give up, I quit, I can't do it any more... Emotionally I'm spent... I felt a little bit like a failure admitting this to myself last week. But then I talked to one of my best friends last night and she used a GREAT word Surrender.

The great thing about this word is that it takes the focus off of me. It doesn't mean I'm a failure it means I am letting someone with more power take over. To me that's God. For much too long I've been trying to make my life work in my own strength. I've tried absolutely EVERYTHING I can think of to make my marriage work. Last week I told my heart it was time to stop. Stop trying and last night I realized it wasn't failing...quitting or giving up. It was simply surrender. Sometimes even though WE try our hardest some things we simply cannot force or control. I simply can't force or control my husband and his ability to love me the way I need to be loved. It hurts yes but it's ok. It's taken me over a year to get to this place of surrender because every ounce of me wants to fight for my marriage. But really when I took that step in my heart and I realized it was time to let go. To SURRENDER completely surrender my emotions, my fears, my efforts... a peace swept in.

Over these last 14 months... small pieces of peace have entered my heart. One item, one challenge, one area at a time. It's like God telling me. You are done striving over that and then He brings peace. This was another area I needed to surrender. It just took me a long long time.

So what's the next step... and here is where I usually am very open but I am going to choose to say it's personal... it's going to be gradual... but I'm done striving and I'm surrendered.

Family Pics

2012-01-10T12:40:00.001-08:00

I'm really terrible about keeping up with pics but here is this years pics... courtesy of Tamara Kenyon Photography =)

Klayton is 2 ...

Kale is 4...
Soleil is 7...

A Personal Break Through

2012-01-10T12:11:00.000-08:00

Now I realize to the folks I've known for years this may sound a bit mystic and you may think it's crap... But I will say I will not apologize...take it or leave it...open mind or closed... this has been a HUGE step in my soul this week and I hope it helps someone else...and to others it may be just a "duh" moment...so bare with those of us that are slower than you ;)

This last week I went into my counseling session not really expecting much. Not really knowing exactly what I wanted to confront or why I was going.

We spent some time talking about my family, my life growing up and then the counselor did an incredible exercise with me. I closed my eyes and I pictured that little girl who was and still is me. The little girl who is 10. Has a blond curly mullet, crooked teeth, a big goofy smile and is wearing stir-up pants and a polka dotted turtle neck. In my mind she's sad, she's disappointed, she wants so desperately to be approved of to know someone is proud of her to feel loved. She's worked really hard on something and she wants to show it off, but feels like no one has time or cares about it. "What does she want you to know" he asks me... "She wants me to be proud of her, to know she matters, to approve of and admire her. Most of all to make sure my own little girl at home feels loved, approved of and treasured." I cry a lot and she cries with me as I try to quietly tell her what she needs to hear. To tell her she's loved and adored and approved of and she did a great job.
I open my eyes. Makeup running down my face. Blowing my nose. I take a deep breathe and my session is over. I walk out not feeling much different, but as the day and the week progresses. I feel a huge sense of peace. I connect with that little girl. I don't know if I ever had before. But I realize now how important it is. You see she was so desperate for MY approval that she was screaming...looking...begging...pleading for anyone to take care of it... She looked for it in others when the answer all along was me.

How many of us have this and yet we don't realize it. It's like no matter how much we feed and cherish our spirit, our present selves... if we don't connect with every part of us those parts scream for our attention. They can't just be starved and ignored. They must be taken care of and made peace with. And when we align inside... Somehow everything in the present just gets a little more clear, a little brighter... more peaceful.

Today

2011-12-14T11:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough week and it's only Wednesday... Monday emotions built up just came crashing down and I spent a lot of time crying in my room...

Undoubtedly this time in my life is the most emotional and difficult I've ever experienced. It's pretty easy for me to get down and cry and be haunted by the past and to struggle with hatred towards those that have hurt me and my family.

Sunday Mike Fluech missionary to South Africa talked about bearing one another's burdens... and I was reminded of all those that helped to bear mine. I think that's why emotions crashed Monday... so many thoughts and feelings spinning around in my heart and head. I have to wonder how all of this will one day be a help to someone else. I hope the challenges I'm facing can one day be looked back upon as lessons learned and I'll be able to encourage others.

Speaking of bearing burdens. Yesterday found out a man in our church has days to live... Nothing like crap happening at Christmas time... I found myself weeping for his wife and 2 teenage daughter. As a daughter I thought about all the milestones he'll miss and how they'll be missing him. Graduation, walking them down the aisle, grandchildren... I wept hard for them. I'm very attached to milestones and celebrating them. It crushed me to think of them having those without their daddy present.

So after that I was getting all prettied up to go to the Care2ShareBoise wrap party. I helped along with about 25 other people to advocate for 21 families and get gifts donated for them so they might have a Merry Christmas. (You can read my blog post for them here: http://care2share.posterous.com/a-reason-for-giving ) Anyways so got ready, Aaron came home and we headed down to the party where we were "wrap captains" for the table we sponsored. Mid-way through the evening I get a text from my mom saying my grandpa isn't doing well...probably not going to make it much longer...

CRASH! The joyous mood of the evening was stolen right out of my heart... WHY WHY WHY... it's Christmas! WHY! So every year we will be reminded of when we lost grandpa =( Needless to say I plastered a smile on my face and made it through the evening...but as soon as we left I let it out... so today I am exhausted. I have wild bed head and bags under my eyes and despite 3 cups of coffee all I really want to do is be in bed.

Gosh what a depressing blog post... But this is real. Real feelings, real honest, real life.
Nope it doesn't come around to a happy cheerful line at the end. This is just Karissa here letting you know I feel... and letting you know it's ok to feel and be sad and weep and have bad days or even weeks... Don't be afraid to feel!

A year later...

2011-12-10T18:50:00.000-08:00

Here it is a year later... So many things have changed... better...worse...just plain different. I've learned a lot...heard, felt, cried, listened, understood, feared, loved, laughed, failed, so many different emotions.

Have I been perfect, no...have I grown... yes... Are we BOTH still learning and growing ...yes... and for now it's still one day at a time.

In mid June we all as one family moved into a new home... It was odd at first living back together after nearly 6 months apart... there are still some very trying days... Right now we are learning to be friends again and most of all parenting our 3 wonderful kids.

I don't really know what God has for us tomorrow or the next day. But we are still with his help trying each and every day to become who He made us to be. No...things aren't perfect or even all right all the time...and I have no idea if we will make it... But for now... we try and we fail and tomorrow we try, try, try again...

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words...please don't stop...

Silence

2011-04-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

Through God's word and various other sources I have decided to take a break from the blogging...

I have a lot of things I still need to work through on this journey and although sharing has in many ways helped me and others of you out there... in some ways it has hindered things as well.

So for now I leave you asking for your continued prayers and thanking you for all the prayers that have been lifted up for us... and remember "Trust and Wait"

Karissa

The Fight for Control

2011-04-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard... is it because of my personality? Is it because I'm a woman? Why?

It's so hard to give up control... it's not everything in my life or in my marriage but there are certain things that I just feel like if I don't control them myself then they are going to get all screwed up. I am sure we all have those things...areas we don't trust others to handle and so it becomes this constant invisible tug of war between husband and wife.

Someone asked me the other day how they could encourage their husband to step forward and be more of a leader in their family... honestly I don't know why people ask me of all people the girl with the messed up marriage for any advice... but maybe because they see I am in the middle of learning a lot of hard lessons right now and that all my defensiveness is gone...

I told her "what is the one area of your life/marriage that if you let your husband be in charge/control of you are so freaked out that he would mess it up?" She said the same thing that I struggled/struggle with... MONEY/FINANCES

You see my husband had a job for 6 years, bought a home and ran a small business successfully before we ever even met... Yet somehow slowly over time I took control over our finances and money in the name of "helping" him out... and while I do not think that is wrong for a woman to "do the money" stuff in your family... I think what it can easily become is a parent/child relationship... Where one spouse is in charge of everything and the other spouse has to come and ask to spend every little $ for even the smallest thing like a coffee or lunch out.

I had on many occasions messed up the finances and then swore to myself I would fix them up and THEN give them back to Aaron and on several occasions I even "let him" have them only to quickly criticize how he did something and then yank them back.

Finally in all of this mess one day he took them over... it may have been when I told him that I was completely overwhelmed with the idea of doing all of our business taxes this year... I have done our taxes myself for as long as I can remember. The next day he called and told me he had hired an accountant and he needed all our financial info. I mildly freaked out, but inside I felt a huge relief. So since then he has completely taken over the finances. I thought I would be freaking out by now trying to take them back...but you know what...it's been amazing! Does he do things perfectly, no, but by me giving up that control he now sees how much money it really takes to run this family and how even with a budget little things still pop up.

We have a money meeting at the beginning of each month listing out all our bills upcoming and all our income for that month. He gives me the grocery money for the month. I schedule all the online bills and tell him the total. He writes out all the checks for everything else. Guess how many arguments about money we have had since this change? ZERO. When I need gas I text him and tell him I am getting gas. I always have plenty of cash built into the grocery money for coffees and lunch out and I also use my Scentsy money for going out and extras. When we go out to dinner, movie or shopping together... he no longer wonders how we are paying for it... he simply knows and I know too. It's an amazing feeling to give up control and why in the world couldn't I have done it earlier?

So my challenge for all of you is this. What one area are you the most afraid your spouse will mess up? What if you REALLY 100% gave that area to them to control instead of the constant tug of war? Do you have a parent/child relationship with your spouse in ANY area? That may be the area you need to stop controlling...

Wouldn't you like one less source of contention in your life...

A good blog about the painful journey

2011-04-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks Becky for referring me to this blog...

Here is just another story and example of God working miracles and how this wife realized her part in helping restore her marriage...

I hope to one day be able to rejoice as she and her husband are now =)

http://lyrynyacoe.blogspot.com/

The "C" word...

2011-03-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

COMMUNICATION... ugh!

There are so many ways and so many levels and I feel like I still haven't learned exactly how to communicate to my spouse... I finally KNOW how he needs to be communicated to and what level he longs for but I am still learning how to do that.

For those of you who don't know us well we are in many ways emotionally reversed from "most" husband/wife couples... My husband is very emotional and really needs to be connected to on a deep thinking, emotional level...it's so important in fact that it's pretty much the main reason we are having issues is because of our lack of knowing how to connect ... I on the other hand am content to "know" things are fine and just talk about business, kids and day to day stuff... I say I love you all the time to my husband and of course I care if he says it to me but to me it doesn't determine if he does love me. We are still working on those deeper conversations and I must admit most of them just aren't a lot of fun and involve many tears, but we are chiseling away the rock and digging down deep to where he longs to go and where we NEED to go...

Sex is another area that I feel is an area of communication...I also am very "guy-like there as well... I am ready anytime, anywhere...no song and dance needed...let's just do it... My husband on the other hand needs great conversation, perhaps a back rub and to feel that connection or it just ain't happening... I have finally realized my views on the sexual communication and also how to change them from a selfish action of "you owe me" to an expression of love for my husband. It changes things completely... Because before I would do a lot of things and then expect sex in return... much like I think many men fall into the trap as well of flowers, gifts and being nice just to get sex... and the nasty cycle continues with the wife (or in my case husband) merely feeling used and like sex is a chore... how sad that I wasted 8 years of marriage in this never-ending cycle of struggle...But it's not too late... change is happening!

I received a message from someone today asking about this very subject and I felt really humbled that she was asking and a little afraid as well... I obviously haven't had the greatest marriage... I was living in indifference coasting along thinking things were "ok" so why bother working on it...WRONG WRONG WRONG!

So here is her letter and my response... (names have been changed except mine and Aaron's)

The book we are referring to is "Created to Be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl

Dear Karissa,

Hope you are doing good. I am holding tight! I read your conference blog, it was great! Thank you for sharing your weekend with me.

I have a question for you. My BIGGEST and I mean BIGGEST downfall for me and Tom as well is communication. I am totally and completely driven by fear of sharing my thoughts and feelings. I have to be careful as is, to not be critical... treat him like a child or really say what I think because we both know how that won't help change the situation.
Alcoholism is touchy enough! I'm a bit stuck and if you are willing to give me some input on how you and Aaron are setting up your ways to talk, I'd really appreciate it. I'm scared to ask for a meeting although I know I have to... I can never say anything when alcohol is in the house because it always goes south...and just our track record is horrible. You just can't reason with an alcoholic. Is Aaron reaching out to you for talks or how do you guys sit down and have those heart to hearts? Tom is like a brick wall and we are completely separated on this issue. He won't initiate it and I get tired of being the bearer of bad news if you will and then I just blow it off.
I have a lot on my plate to discuss with Tom but its going to take time I know and to do it in a loving and non-judgmental way will be hard. I obviously need the Lord to guide me there.

Any tips you might have would be great.

So far I love the book but I'm only 3 chapters in. I don't get personal time to read it and Tom sometimes mocks or judges me for my choices so I do it in private time but I don't get private time. The biggest part that has stuck out for me is the part where when we feel sorry for ourselves and we ask God "why" he didn't spare our pain. God didn't spare himself pain when he sent Jesus to the cross so why wouldn't he allow us to experience the same ... WHOA!

Tom finally discovered the book and looked at it. He won't tell me his thoughts but tests me with "well what is this?" but he's aware of it so I'm going to try to talk to him about my boundaries. I need to learn the discipline of my "do diligence"

Blessings,

Sarah

Dear Sarah,

I guess right now for me since reading the book I just try to apply the truth to me and eventually my changes made him curious and that opened up talking. I guess the biggest thing is they totally expect us to be angry, hostile and reactionary and when we aren't NO MATTER WHAT then it slowly opens things up so they don't fear our replies. It's about total acceptance and non judgmental and unconditional love even if we totally disagree with their choices. Also we have been going out more together and sometimes being in a public place helps because then no one can blow up. I am praying for you both. But trust me you apply the changes to your heart and his stuff will come. It's going to take a ton of time in both your marriage and mine. Just pray for your pain to glorify God and someday be an encouragement and help to others regardless of the outcome... Get up and live tomorrow...

Karissa

If any of you have some godly input on this for Sarah please feel free to comment =)

Thank you

2011-03-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

A huge thank you to my readers. Your prayers and encouragement have meant the world to me each day.

Also to those of you hurting and going through similar situations. Thank you for sharing with me your stories and that you are encouraged by reading my journey.

I am so humbled and blessed by you all...

Thank you!

Karissa

Nothing Is More Important Than This Day

2011-03-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

How about if we explore that?

What if every morning we just got up and decided to live that day... not worrying about the future or being a slave to the outcome of a situation?

What if we did this for the rest of our lives?

I keep coming back to this because every time I am in a "freak out" or my husband is in a "freak out" I keep telling us this... Tomorrow... Wake up and live that day!

How easy it is though for us to get so caught up with the future that we forget to take hold of today which is really all we may have anyways... We waste so much time putting time lines and expectations on ourselves and other people and we forget that today is a gift from God and we can either waste it with worry, self pity and stress or we can make it great!

I've told you before that I start each day by asking God for courage and strength to face whatever happens today... I do this because anyone who knows me KNOWS that I am by nature NOT a patient person... when a problem arises I want it fixed yesterday...I want an answer NOW and I want it to be clear and factual and smart. I tend to think from what is right and what makes sense and often times I forget to tap into my heart.

That brings me to the "Weekend To Remember" conference...

It was amazing... now don't get me wrong it wasn't amazing because of the results...it was amazing because of the heart behind the speakers... they weren't just filling us up with facts...they really put their personal stories and heart into each part of the conference.

It was broken up into 10 sessions- It was a very emotional and overwhelming weekend for both of us and I think a lot of things collided together Monday as I know we both had a very emotional day. I started reading another book today and for what we are going through it said the average time of repair is 18-24 months... Which seems like eternity to this impatient girl here...

But really I have to ask myself do I want to continue indifferent and not fixing things or do I want to fix things now and move on towards a better future?

So back to the 10 sessions.
#1 Why Marriages Fail... The main thing I got out of that session was false expectations, selfishness and superficial motivations such as feelings and the seduction of our culture that we DESERVE complete fulfillment and perfect happiness... but what is that happiness based on feelings or reality... One MAJOR nugget came in the last 20 minutes...

"Act your way into a feeling, don't feel your way into an action"

Session #2 Can We Talk

One thing I really liked was they had categories based on people not on gender... I think a lot of times genders are categorized and it's been super frustrating to us because we are opposite the gender stereotypes on a TON of areas...

With this session I vowed to be LESS of a communicator to others and more of a listener to Aaron and to listen without judgement and WITH total acceptance for him...

"Every Wise Woman Buildeth Her House, But the Foolish Plucketh It Down With Her Hands"

#3 God's purpose for oneness

Talked about if we are not working towards oneness we are working towards isolation from each other... To me I am amazed how just my indifference and not thinking we needed help really did lead here...

A major part of this section was UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and ways that we can spend time together so that we have mutual interests.
Also talked about recognizing that your spouse is not your enemy that we wrestle not against people but spiritual forces. I also got from this part that when we KNOW we are owning our OWN sin and doing what we ought to do we gain joy. When we don't defend each other then we defend ourselves and become defensive shifting the blame and driving us apart.

#4 From How to Wow

Talked about establishing complete INDEPENDENCE from your parents so you can CLEAVE to your spouse... to form a permanent bond and stick like glue.

Receiving our spouse as a gift from God not based on their performance and so we love and receive them no matter what they do. Our weaknesses give our spouse an opportunity to be needed if we were complete on our own we wouldn't need them.

Fellowship with each other will not be right until our fellowship with God is right.

The nugget: RECEIVE don't just accept your spouse which to me is a huge difference!

#5 God's power for Oneness

In this portion they gave the gospel and invited those not trusting Christ to do so =)
I got from this ...Who can change me? Not me in my own power but truly letting God in and letting Him change me.

#6 Conflict Survival Guide

Boy I have a million notes on this section...

-The goal of marriage is not to be conflict free but to handle conflict correctly!
-Seek and Grant Forgiveness
-BOTH husband and wife need to be committed to oneness to resolve conflict
-Don't become numb and used to problems ...take care of them!
-What can you do to wrap your confrontation of issues in love?
-Treat your spouse as good or better than a stranger
-Set your spouse free from the debt of the offense no matter how bad it is!
-Let your spouse be real and accept them!
-To show grace hurts but it is beautiful as it heals
-Don't stir the pot just to feel better, take it to God first.

#7 Sex from God's perspective

Ok we are being real here... this is my #1 area where I have had MAJOR misconceptions and treated it wrongly... I am very much like a guy in this area and it's hard for me to see the emotional side of it...

In this part they covered all the aspects...physical, mental, emotional and spiritual and Aaron and I talked later about each area and what we need from each other. It was the best talk of the entire weekend and I think we cleared up a lot about how we view things.

#8 Woman to Woman (at this same time the men were getting "Man to Man"

I always thought I WAS submitting but really I wasn't LETTING Aaron lead... I always was wondering why he wasn't leading more in an area but realized I was being so controlling that it was always a fight.

"A wise woman buildeth her house but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands"

OUCH!

That's my MAIN weakness...my mouth... and it's no wonder ...Our husbands need US to be that safe place that they can come to without worrying that we are taking their openness and transparency and using it against them later... this was my take away from the weekend of my MAIN thing to strive for...to be that safe place. With unconditional respect and love towards him.

"We can be the wind in our husbands sails, or we can suck it right out"

She also talked to us about how we are like coal... but with time, heat and pressure God is turning us into diamonds! =)

Session #9 How marriages thrive

BY habits... Extravagant love, generous forgiveness and enthusiastic encouragement.

Placing your spouses needs above your own.

The weekend NUGGET!
"Act your way into a feeling, don't feel your way into an action!"

Forgiveness... 70 x 7 ...this leads to a bitter FREE marriage, offered quickly, applied freely, expressed graciously and KEEPS NO RECORDS OF WRONGS!

Encouragement- Avoids critical words and GOSSIP... leads to authentic unity.

Focuses on patterns instead of events.

Session #10-Leaving a Legacy

Don't wait for your spouse to act... Do what God expects of you.
Persist through the attacks of Satan and remember that you are not responsible for your spouses choices.

You can live your life... Indifferent, Indulging or Investing.

I can pass on a curse or a blessing to those I may never know.

Montana Trip

2011-03-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

By now you know I stink at taking and putting pictures on here, but the trip to Montana really gave me a lot of time to think, see friends and have fun.

Some good things happened out of it and one of them is my relationship with my dad is now mended =) We have never been close and different things have happened over my life that have left me angry and bitter at him...

But through this marriage difficulty I have been praying that all relationship wounds would be mended and one of them was my dad... We have actually been talking and listening to each other and I know he is one of the greatest prayer warriors I know.

This post is a bit distracted because I have a 2 year old little boy on my lap =)

So 9 hours each way and I went in a dark mood and came back with a hopeful spirit.

After much prayer over the last 6 weeks and 100's praying with me Aaron and I were able to attend the Family Life "Weekend To Remember" Marriage Conference here in Boise.

I will post a lot more on that later, but I just want to thank you for your prayers. I have a heart and brain full of godly principles to put into practice. It was emotional weekend and what will happen from here on out remains to be seen...

Next post much more about the conference...for now I need to go play with my kids =)

And then there are days...

2011-03-09T20:05:00.001-08:00

Well don't know if I should be blogging considering my current frame of mind and emotions but I did promise a new post soon.

I guess part of being real and raw is showing that even though major things have changed in MY heart in the last month...it doesn't mean that I don't still have what I call "angry days" and it doesn't meant that these days are wrong. Because they are what they are.

I usually call my mom and maybe a friend or two when I am having these days and I usually warn them that "this is an angry day." Because they know my purpose is just to vent and I am being completely emotional and angry.

I feel like I have been in this since Monday afternoon. I knew my period was coming any second and a trip to the "woman doctor" just set me off.

For you that don't know there is a lot of "dirty details" that I leave out because I am trying to keep this focused on what God is doing in ME... if and when the time comes that Aaron and I are re-united we might do some more sharing of his journey but until then...

So the woman dr visit included some test for various things all of which I am relieved turned out "normal"... so no I am not hormonally off or anything else so that is good to know ;)

Then yesterday Aunt Flo arrived bags packed and ready for her very annoying visit and proceeded to throughout yesterday and today make me cry about every little thing.

I told my mom I think Satan really has been at me the last few days and she reminded me that he comes at us EVERY day but sometimes we just aren't wearing as much armor and that reminded me that I hadn't had my Bible reading and prayer time yet today.

But honestly we can't blame everything on emotions and hormones. Yes we are women and yes this time of the month can really throw us off. And then too I just know I hadn't taken the time to slow down breathe and talk with God.

I feel like this week all the thoughts and feelings and doubts and fears are really plaguing my mind and like I keep mentioning I have been crying almost non stop. It's days like today that I really want to do some actual harm to a couple people and to scream and shake my husband and tell him to wake up. To yell and ask WHY GOD WHY! To throw a fit and be impatient and just want to know when the pain will end and when oh when will I know the answers to all the open-ended questions...

But I didn't do anything except cry and talk to Aaron (oh and I ate chocolate)... sometimes those tears can open up some really ugly wounds but they also can produce some good talks of things that need to be discussed.

We are both seeing counselors. I think we will for a long time no matter what. I would encourage anybody to just go in for a "check up" ... It's good to cleanse your soul and talk to someone who can help you sort through the junk you have been stuffing down. And don't try to tell me that you have nothing to talk about ;)

Tomorrow I head with the kids to Montana to visit my family and friends for spring break... more than anything I am needing to get away from daily life around here to break free for even just a week and have the love and support of people who have known me for all or most of my life.

It's so important to have that support and really I didn't know how many amazing friends and how wonderful my family was until all of this. So don't take for granted those that love and care for you... because in your moment of greatest need... you can be surrounded ... or if you turn your back you can be left all alone.

Since You are Asking...

2011-03-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

I might tell you that this blog has nothing to do with what my husband is or isn't doing to "work things out"

So many people ask me what he's doing or how his walk with God is or what I am going to do to make him "prove" before...

And my answer ...absolutely nothing and it's none of my business...

I can hear the gasps now... well what if...and but, but, but...

IT DOESN'T MATTER ...

You know why it doesn't matter?

Because God is Aaron's Holy Spirit and Conscience.

PERIOD

and really why do we worry so much about what other people are doing anyways? I know he's my husband and I know he doesn't live with me and doesn't tell me what he is doing 99% of the time...

But I have learned something... People are people and they are either going to listen to God and do what's right or....wait for it.... they WON'T *GASP*

And me as a wife getting the heck out of the way and letting God work is actually much more productive than all the freaking out, name calling and yelling I did for the 3 months before February 13th...

I think this is what letting go really feels like... easier said then done believe you me... but once I finally did =)

So maybe all this good isn't Aaron changing at all and maybe things won't work out... who knows...

But I do know that ME being truly happy has left him wondering "what in the world" and "how long will this last" and I am sure he is just a tad curious too...

I have been accused of being Naive, "Acting" like the bigger person and bullying people into getting my way... and yes while all those are things I have done...

That's not why I blog. I blog because somewhere someone is going through the same crap I have and I read many things along the way that either confused me or helped me.

So all I am doing by this blog is sharing raw and unfiltered... my heart and it has nothing to do with being a bigger person... It has EVERYTHING to do with having a relationship with a BIG God...

If any of you out there are searching for something... I encourage you... contact me... I would be so willing to share how you can have the relationship =)

kranberrys@yahoo.com

Quarterback or Cheerleader?

2011-03-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

Did you ever notice how in sports EVERYONE right down to the water boy is "part of the team"

But there seem to be two types of people that are the most noticed and talked about...

The Quarterback and the Cheerleader...

Their can only be one quarterback...calling the plays and leading the team in the game. How would it look or be if the head Cheerleader kept running out on the field and trying to tell the quarterback which plays to make or worse yet AFTER he called the play running in and giving a different one... it would be a mess wouldn't it and the cheerleader would look like a fool...

But how many of us do this every day in our marriages?

I know I was... You see the world tells us women that being a "cheerleader" is flaky, demeaning, prissy job...and that really we should be out trying to be the quarter back. The bible however tells us that we are to let our husbands lead our team and being a cheerleader is a super important job.

What if the cheerleaders stood on the sidelines and cheered for the OTHER team or what if they cheered and then went over to the crowd and talked about the team and how awful they are? Kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it?

But every day we have a choice to stand on the sidelines and cheer for our quarterbacks and tell the crowd how amazing they are and pump them up! Because just because we are cheerleaders doesn't make us any less a part of the team... and who do you think the quarter back comes running to after he leads the team to a win? His cheerleader! Because when he leads the team...EVERYONE wins =)

So who cares if you don't like sports or think my cheerleader analogy is shallow... I don't but it's the same comparison I keep giving when I talk to my husband about what is going on inside me.

I tried for too long to compete for that quarterback slot... instead of listening to God and to my husband I listened to the worlds idea of what I should be... I always felt like I needed to somehow contribute financially to our family and while this is not a bad thing it doesn't define my worth to my family... I finally got it and instead of running out on the field trying to compete I am now happily on the sidelines cheering on my quarterback...

Last night we were talking and as I was telling him how incredibly happy I am and that it has NOTHING to do with him... I was crying...isn't it funny how we cry whether happy or sad? How when we find REAL happiness that it has nothing to do with other people but finding our happiness right where we are at and finding our worth in who God created us to be.

I'm happy... I was Created to be Aaron's Help Meet and to be my kids mom and I'm so happy and if I never have any other "success" in the world's eyes it doesn't matter... phooey on them... I am happy being the cheerleader...

My husband reminded me last night that this is all pressure I have put on myself...and he reminded me that "You are enough just being you, the complete package"

I replied "well let me remind you of that as well that YOU are enough just being Aaron and I accept and love you for who you are no matter what"

The biggest thing I learned from that book is we are NOT our spouses Holy Spirit or Conscience and we waste a lot of energy trying to fill those roles when they just aren't for us to do... and it sure feels freeing to FINALLY be completely out of God's way so HE can be those things for my husband...

So how about you? Are you interrupting the game by trying to compete with your quarterback or are you happy cheering him on while he leads YOUR team to victory... because if you are happy in the role God designed you for... the quarterback shares his win with you!

Daily

2011-02-26T13:38:00.000-08:00

Do you have things that you do daily or regularly... habits or what have you...

There are the usual... brush teeth, take a shower, get dressed, do hair, eat, take care of kids etc...

There are the ones that are not so good that we wish we could break... smoking, swearing, yelling, impatience, gossiping, bad attitude, being quick to judge or too quick to speak, over eating
*note I don't do everything listed so stop freaking out...lol*

The ones we wish we would... read bible, pray (like actually get down and pray) do more with our kids, our spouse, our friends, be kind, be generous, be joyful, love more, hit the gym... etc...

I am sure like all of you there are some that come easy and some that don't and some that matter to others and some that only matter to us.

I've developed some new daily things and I can tell you they didn't come easy or really because I chose to do them...they came first out of necessity and now I can say I truly find peace and joy doing them... and yes I sometimes still don't do them but 95% of the time I do...

The first thing I do when I open my eyes is I smile and I ask the Lord to give me a joyful heart and a good attitude.

When I shower I have started the habit of that being a time of prayer... let the conditioner soak in and get down and pray for whatever... I usually start out by thanking God for a fresh new day and asking Him for the strength to get me through whatever the day holds and to clean up my mind and heart so that when I speak it is good and not evil.

Sometime throughout the day...usually while kids eat breakfast or at nap time or as late as after kids are in bed... I take time to do my Bible reading... a Proverb, a Psalm and a couple other places...

If I do any running around in the day I take along a book currently "Created to Be His Help Meet" as well as a notebook and pen... so if I spend anytime waiting anywhere I can pull it out and get in a few pages and take some notes... If I don't then I read before bed.

The other thing I've been doing is choosing a specific thing ....anything like washing your hands or using the restroom....stopping at a stop sign...to quickly pray for my husband and kids...just something that you do a lot of during the day...

At night Soleil and I pray together and sing...which we have done since she was born.
I also have started praying in my bed until I fall asleep...I wake up a lot at night and I use those times as well to pray myself back to sleep.

I'm not saying ANY of this to make myself sound like some spiritual person who thinks I am so great...

I AM telling you because these are things to my shame I NEVER got into the habit or if I am being totally honest...never really cared to do... I would start every year out resolving to pray more, read my bible more etc... but it never stuck... In my life I see why... because with anything for me if I TRY in my own strength in my head... It doesn't last... I've TRIED to be nice...lasted at most a week...TRIED to not be angry...lucky if it lasted a day or two... TRIED to be a good mom...blew that...TRIED to be a good wife... uh you see where I am going with this?

ME I SUCK! BIG TIME!

There is something VERY different about when God flips that switch in you...that changes it from being YOU in your head...to GOD in your heart... it doesn't mean your perfect...that you never mess up... but for me it seems like instead of a constant battle it flows much more freely...

and all the things I listed... they are flowing now... yes God had to SPANK MY HINEY big time... but I can truly say that I feel a new joy and peace that I haven't enjoyed for a very long time... and filling up my life with these things... I just don't seem to have as much time to have a bad attitude, complain, be angry or unkind...

Does this mean I never will again...probably not, but I wanted to let you know what's GOD is doing in my heart so you can be encouraged that no matter how many times YOU try and fail... GOD never gives up on US... HE is waiting patiently...and for some like me HE just has to be a lot more patient with...

Remember the Little Things

2011-02-20T12:29:00.000-08:00

Sundays right now are the best and sometimes hardest days... I get to go to church and be with God's people and hear God's Word explained and taught in new ways... That is the best... The hardest part right now is not having Aaron there with us. The kids miss him and ask where he is and I wonder if he misses going with us...

You see in all my anger earlier on I said and did some things that are going to make coming back to church for him really hard... I so regret those things... *Edited to clarify... OUR church is 100% supportive of us, our family...our marriage and would welcome him back with open arms... What I meant by really hard is that had I not been such a big mouth it would have been easier as far as what he thinks people think... everyone at church has told me they are praying for healing and forgiveness.*

Just now I got out a copy of each of his books and I opened them up to the dedication... The first one says "For Karissa, the love of my life and my best friend" the second one "A thanks to my Wife who puts up with my two natures"

So why am I talking about this you might say it makes no sense with my title...

I think it would be good for all of us to write down some of the the things we want to say... sometimes that would be better than saying them to whoever and the risk of damage that could take a long time to repair.

But then there are little things that we don't say and then wish we would have to a spouse, a friend or a loved one and sometimes they are gone in one way or another before we ever get that chance...

I mentioned the dedications because they are in writing for thousands of people have read them and every time a copy sells... someone else sees those loving words my husband wrote... and I just never really appreciated fully until now. How many times have angry words escaped my lips and can never be brought back compared to how many times loving words have come out those same lips.

It's time to tip the scales and let love come forth again...

So here it is for whoever may read this...

I LOVE MY HUSBAND! Life with him has been a crazy adventure...twists, turns, hills and valley's and the Lord has never left us...

I told him early on in this mess... "We have been through richer, poorer...sickness and health... this is the better and worse part...and the worse can be so much worse"

I also watched Fire Proof and if you have never seen it I highly recommend it... and although I have been AWFUL to my husband and said HORRIBLE things that I can never ever take back... One thing keeps bringing me back... "You NEVER leave your partner in a Fire"

One thing I am so thankful for is that it seems that no matter what fires we have been through...we take turns being the one who doesn't leave their partner... sometimes it's him and sometimes it's me...but we are rarely down together. I think that's what God intended marriage to be... One falls the other doesn't run away no matter how far down the fall is. They are there waiting.

It it possible?

2011-02-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

I just got in the mail a book that I have heard both good and bad about and although I am only 4 chapters in has helped me greatly...

It's called "Created to Be His Help Meet" By Debi Pearl

If you decide to read it you REALLY must go with an open heart and prayfulness because it's a "hard" read yet I have found even in the few chapters and couple days of owning it that her advice really does help...

Is it possible that we as wives hold such great power? Is it possible that unconditional love and respect towards our husbands can really provide such amazing results... Time will tell in my case... but in the many letters she gets of wives rejoicing because they read, they listened and most importantly they OBEYED...

Is it possible that we hear over and over what we should do and what we should not do and we see others living joy filled lives because of obedience to God and we see others live pain filled lives because of disobedience and yet I myself just didn't "get it"... until now...

Is it possible that God in me makes "trying" to love my husband unconditionally...not like trying at all... See before I tried to do this and I tried to do that to not react to situations and to put on a smile... BUT did you see all the "I" in there... Something about the last 2 weeks ...a change in my heart... has made loving him flow naturally... and it's not about what I deserve or he deserves ... because we ALL deserve one thing... HELL...

Is it possible that I am finally seeing how Jesus is my true example? Is it possible that trying to be like him as much as possible opens my heart to love, forgive and eventually forget the hurt? Is it possible that even the world says "get rid of him" "you deserve better" "there are other fish int he sea" that even though even other Christians think I am a door mat or lack self-respect... Is it possible that really all I am doing is a tiny fraction of what Christ does for us every day?

See for several weeks I had trapped in my mind that IF things were ever going to get better or work out with my marriage that HE would have to do this and this and this and God would have to change HIM and HIS heart... But last Sunday and from reading God's word and this book... my heart has changed...and HE can tell a difference in ME trying and GOD flowing through me...

Is it possible that what we hear all the time about working on yourself and allowing God to change MY heart can really make all the difference...You see back to being like Christ... WE are the ones who hurt our Saviour (our spouse) all the time... and does he ask us to change to clean up our act to win HIM back? No. Is it possible that I can see the example my Saviour set for me and how our Lord seeks to win US back... IS it possible though I have been hurt that I can do the winning? Through being the wife I should have been all along and was too stubborn and selfish to change?

Is it possible?

With God ALL things are possible... and although everyone around you may think your a fool... God honors obedience... and even in just one week of having a changed heart... I've seen it...

So who knows... God does... and NOTHING is more important than this day...

What can you do?

When searching My Computer History...

2011-02-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

Ok so I must admit that I often search the history on my computer... several different people use it...me...babysitters and my husband when he is here with the kids... It's just a habit I have gotten into...Anyways...so I have been reading a Blog called "Single Dad Laughing" that I stumbled upon a few weeks ago on a friends Facebook page...

So looking through yesterday's history I see that Aaron visited the site as well and so I read the article that he had taken a look at and I was REALLY appreciative of what the guy had to say...

So it's for guys by a guy so share it with the guys in your life and it's an AWESOME read for us women too...

http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html.

And there it was smack across the page...

2011-02-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

So really throughout this entire trying time... God has placed people or Bible verses right in front of me at EXACTLY the right time...

I don't even know why I am surprised anymore but I continue to be AMAZED...

Yesterday was no exception...

Walk into church expecting regular old Sunday School and low and behold we have a special speaker and we get to split up ladies and men (I LOVE these times because we get stuff especially for us girls and likewise the guys get stuff just for them)

So the first thing I notice about our special speaker is she has beautiful blond hair and her nails are nicely manicured... I appreciate that because I love having nice nails even if they are fake...anyways...

THEN she scores with all of us by passing out bags with CANDY in them...oh the smiles =)

SO she proceeds to teach us about how we are like the 3 candies in the bag...

M&M's- We are all different just like all the colors...there are plain, peanut, coconut, pretzel, peanut butter and many more... But we are all part of the body of Christ... (now here is where I REALLY started listening)

The shell on the outside of the m&m is God... during the trials of like we just need to cling to God and let him protect us and be with us...

The cry Baby- Is bitterness and anger (ouch) ...pretty easy for me to be that one right now... to hate the ones that have hurt me and hold it against them forever... But really trials CAN often times be for our good... to grow as a person or actually save us from worse hurt... i.e. ever run late getting out the door and be all upset and then PASS an accident that happened only moments before...? Aren't you glad you had the "trial" of running late?

The last one was laughy taffy- She talked about being a fun person... being someone that your kids and spouse WANT to be around because you know how to have fun... so to me this meant "LIGHTEN UP ALREADY" It's so easy for me to get focused on the things that "need" to get done that I forget to just take time to have fun with my kids and my husband...

BUT the big thing that got me wasn't even something she talked about...it was what was right across the page from the verse she read us in Romans... and this is what it said...

Romans 12:
¹⁷Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

¹⁸If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

¹⁹Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

²⁰Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

²¹Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

AND IT HIT ME RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.... Now God over the last few weeks has been bringing parts of this passage to my mind but I hadn't really known where it was found...

During all this I have been VERY Angry and many people would say "rightly so" BUT when I read this I realized something ... NO MATTER WHAT... I need to obey this passage... NO matter if it brings my husband back around and a miracle happens in our marriage or if we end up parting ways... Obeying this passage IS going to be a good thing...

The first thing I did to obey it was buy my husband's favorite candy ...it even came in coconut which is a HUGE plus... and when he walked in this morning to pick up our daughter for school... I was there... BIG smile and I handed it to him and told him "Happy Valentine's Day and gave him a hug and told him I loved him" (I thought he might mess his pants)

I went upstairs to help Soleil finish getting ready...after they left I noticed that the new decorative sign I made was hung above the TV... I can't reach it so I had put it in the corner... He NOTICED and he hung it... which may seem like small stuff but normally it is like pulling teeth to get him to hang ANYTHING... so me not even mentioning it... is AMAZING...

So anyways... long post but I want to share even the small victories =)

A lot has happened ...

2011-02-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

I changed a few things in my life lately... A lot has happened... Some that is good and some that is not so good...

So it's time for me to get back to blogging and maybe just maybe some of what is happening to me will be a source of help to you...now or maybe in the future...

We all tend to live in a bubble ... a bubble of "our own little world" and for me my bubble burst in mid-November. My husband of 8 years announced he never loved me. Hmmmm... I don't really believe that.

My initial shock wore off, a ton of other crap happened and it got really really ugly and now here we are 3 months later... He moved out two weeks ago... He needs his space...needs to find out who he is... needs to figure out what's best for him.

And in my head I am screaming... "what about me and your kids? Does anyone matter besides you?" "What about God? What about what the Bible teaches?"

"You don't get it" he says to me... no I don't and I probably never will.

and you know what I do about all of this...what can I do really? Every morning I pray for strength. I pray to not be angry, to show my husband unconditional love regardless of what is happening... does it happen...some days and some days I screw up by 10 a.m.

So what's going to happen?

I have no idea... but NOTHING surprises God and He sees the end of this even if I can't...

So one day at a time... am I perfect...no...am I trusting God...trying to...

Just Breathe...One Day At a Time...

and the one most amazing thing that has come from this... I have my relationship back with God... have I "arrived" absolutely not... but I am back with my Saviour and talking to him and reading His word like NEVER before...and if that is the only good that comes from it... that's good enough...

Car seat Safety...

2010-05-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

Many people I know if they know me for very long will hear me say something about car seat safety...I have posted one video below but there are a bunch on UTUBE...

I was in a serious car wreck in November of last year along with my 3 kids...no one was injured, but ALL of my children were properly restrained and their car seats properly installed...

I can't tell you how many times I see photos or videos of kids sitting in their car seats with their upper buckle down to their belly button or see a tiny child forward facing or see a car in motion and the car seat is rocking back and forth... SCARY... In our car wreck we rolled! Had my children not been properly restrained I shudder to think what could have happened...I am sure one or more of them would have flew out of their seats and hit a window or worse been ejected!

PLEASE for the love of your child(ren) watch a couple videos and just make ABSOLUTELY sure that EVERY time ANYONE puts your child in a car that they are in the proper car seat and properly restrained...

I don't care WHO makes fun of me or what they say about me being "anal" ....our children our precious ....let's protect them and it really takes no time at all to make sure they are safe!

Securing Child in Britax Forward-Facing Car Seat

2010-05-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

2010-05-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry I forgot to take these pics until they were already covered in plastic in the back of my Expedition...haha

Monstor Truck Cake

Today was our church's annual Master Club Carnival and the popular event is the cake walk...there must have been over 100 cakes there!

I made 6... and by popular demand I made the monstor truck cake again...
Literally just a crumbly mess of cake, graham crackers, frosting and small chocolate donuts and of course a mud pit and monster truck!

Next up...the Sunflower made with a round cake and twinkies.

Then there is the Hot Air Balloon...a round cake decorated with gum drops and a graham cracker basket....

Flower Cake...
The petals are made with marsh-mellows and whopper centers...it was supposed to be a really cute purse but it kept falling over...oh well. Soleil liked it so much she did the cake walk and got it back...yummy!

Just for fun an m&m cake

Last the leftover cake... everything that was left from frosting to candy got put on this cake...

And here is poor Kale...begging me to PLEASE let him have some of these cakes he has been looking at for 24 hours! (Don't worry he had some for dinner tonight =)

Zumba Class

2010-04-26T12:41:00.000-07:00

Just another Manic Monday...

2010-04-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

Well what an interesting week it was and weekend...

Aaron's parents are in town and that is rare so we spend time with them Wednesday night, Friday night and again Saturday evening... perhaps a bit more tonight and then they fly home to Alaska tomorrow.

Had a Scentsy booth at a Zumba-thon this weekend and while sales at the booth were less than stellar (no thanks to them not advertising their vendors) I did get to Zumba so that was fun!

For those that know me I am a bit Zumba crazy right now! It is a total blast! Mentally you don't feel like you are working out and physically you are sweating buckets and feeling great!

If you don't know what Zumba is here is a little clip:

It's alot of fun!

So today is Monday and my FAV teacher teaches on Mondays, but alas my boys are sick and I am taking them to the doctor. I am so selfish! I am pouting big time because I wanted to go so bad and I won't get to go the rest of the week because I have a 4 day Scentsy show this week. Of course my boys got sick on purpose don't ya know...LOL... poor little guys they have some bad allergies!

Update on Kale... he is doing great! Peeing on the potty consistently... (I feel like saying PENIS right here just to creep Rick out...hahaha) he is not pooping on there yet but he is doing great otherwise =)

So it's Monday people... try out some Zumba!

Potty training we will go...

2010-04-17T10:36:00.001-07:00

So I know there are a MILLION different opinions and books about how to potty train a child...

Some start practically at birth with Elimination Communication...In fact I have a friend who is doing this very successfully... I kinda wish I had given it a go, but alas here I am...

Then there is the group( i.e. my grandma) who says they MUST be potty trained before they are 2 or they will NEVER be potty trained.

I heard of yet another...wait until they are 3, sit them down and have a "potty talk" and then bathe them in cold water or spank them if they have any accidents from there on out.

My mom trained us when she though we were "ready" no bribing just alot of singing and hooray's!

With Soleil I tried to do the potty train before they are 2 method... I did bribe with candy and alas Soleil was potty trained or at least she would go on command by the time she was 18 months. BUT then we moved and put her in a big girl bed at the new house and all that went "bye-bye" She was finally 100% going on her own, wiping mostly on her own and not having to be told 3 weeks before Kale was born.... She was 2 months shy of her 3rd birthday.

Now it is Kale's turn... I tried a few months before he turned 2, but he literally didn't even know he had a penis at that point much less that he peed from it so it was pointless....he would literally be peeing (wearing just undies) and not even notice....even in the tub he would look around wondering were the water was coming from....haha

So now... at 2 years and 4 months I think he is ready to start... I had a good conversation with a friend who's son is 1 month younger and they just potty trained him and her method seems to work the best so far for Kale... this is her 4th child so I figured she "might" have a clue =)

So this is what we do... He wears undies and is asked to go every half hour, we take him and I sit a chocolate hershey kiss on the counter by the potty. If he goes he gets it, if he doesn't he is told he has to wait until he has to go. If he has an accident we go into the bathroom to clean up in the tub... I DO NOT use cold water but it is not warm either so it's a little uncomfortable but it's over quickly and I remind him that we go on the potty and then we get a treat =) I tell him the water is just for clean up because of the accident.

So in two days he has only had 4 accidents! Lots of treats and lots of excitement about not peeing on his "doggies" (doggy underwear)

So I am interested...what worked for you when you potty trained your kids?

And please no "hate" on my method because it is just that MY method =)

Over the river and through the woods...

2010-03-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

To Grandma's (and Grandpa's) house we go...

We leave tomorrow for 4 days in MT for Easter weekend. Not too excited about the car trip, but I am excited to see my family. We are opting to try something new and stay with my sister her husband and their 3 kids in there house...now that they have room we thought it would be a fun change.

So praying for safety, no snow and no ice and YES Aaron is driving ;)

Lost and Sleep Deprivation

2010-03-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

So thanks alot Andrew Garcia (he told Aaron it was a must see) because now I am sleep deprived and now of course sick.... All because of a show called "LOST"

So yes we are behind the times, 5 seasons or is it 6? So we must rent the past to catch up to the present... I did get plenty of sleep when Aaron was gone...because I couldn't watch the episodes without him, but now alas we are back to the madness.

So today I woke up with a sore throat...still went to the gym and now I am totally exhausted!

So pj's and a messy house will be on the menu for today.

What Fun Looks Like at a Scentsy Ladies House...

2010-03-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

So yesterday we got the shipment of all the new Spring Scentsy plus more for my big open house next week.

I don't know who was more excited me or the kids...they ran and opened the door for the UPS man and then pushed the boxes into the living room!

Even Klayton helped un-load all those Scentsy bars!

Kale was the supervisor this time making sure Soleil was working hard!
(and showing you his cars which he always has one in hand!)

Soleil had the idea that they could use all that packing paper for coloring on and ta-da! Free entertainment while I labeled everything!

Here it all is before we put it away on the shelves of the "Scentsy Closet"

So it smells good at our house ...and it's nice to have the shelves stocked again!

Dinner Out and Family Fun Friday Night!

2010-03-06T17:42:00.000-08:00

So this week was very exhausting for me as it was a BUSY couponing week! So be the end of the week having saved a little over $300 (spending $47) on wednesday night, I also shopped Monday and Tuesday saving over $800 (spending $124) combined those days.

Here is what I got for $47!

30 boxes fruit snacks (30 cents a box)
8 tubes tooth paste
8 tooth brushes
6 Cascade Dishwasher Detergent
12 rolls bounty paper towels
2 dawn dish soap
10 cans refrided beans
15 cans hunts diced tomatoes
1 pkg pampers diapers
1 large pkg. Huggies wipes
2 boxes sandwich bags
4 pkgs. zip-loc "tupperware"
4 shampoo and 4 conditioner Pantene Pro-V

I was just plain wiped out! So last night I asked Aaron what he wanted for dinner...knowing full well we had plenty of food options at home...he opted to take us out to dinner and I wasn't sad in the least bit! We ate at Tuscono's Brazillian Grill. (www.tucanos.com)

It's quite the fast-paced dining experience. You pay a set price per adult (kids are free) and there is a full buffet of wonderful side dishes, salads and appetizers as well as soups. Then their are a bunch of guys who bring meat of all kinds to your table and also grilled pineapple and Parmesan veggies! It is sooooo delicious and you can keep going until you are stuffed!

We especially got a kick out of Kale. Whenever a "meat man" would come to the table Kale would stand on his chair and hold out his plate... he wanted some of EVERYTHING...and would eat it and declare "YUM" very loudly. He even tried the grilled chicken hearts (YUCK) and declared them "YUM" as well. Soleil and I were smart and didn't even try them, but Aaron did and said they were gross. It was hilarious to see Kale chomping down on them.

We then headed to Re-Discovered book store. Our favorite book store to visit. I found a used book I had been looking for and we were pleasantly surprised to find it was "meet the author" night! Roland Smith author of books such as "I.Q" and "Tentacles" ...basically young adult adventure series. Aaron was the oldest one in the line for autographs. =)

Then it was home for bed for the kids and reading time for mom and dad.

Do you ever just wish...

2010-03-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

That your house would stay clean, your laundry done, your cupboards full, your bank account full, people would keep their word, decisions weren't so hard to make, you wouldn't quarrel with your spouse and that life were just well easier I guess.

But then I guess it wouldn't be life and it wouldn't make us look forward to heaven so much... Heaven... no more of any of the above..just end-less days of son-shine and basking in our Saviour's presence. *sigh*

Now it's back to the housework at hand...

Hmmmmm....

2010-02-26T15:00:00.000-08:00

I think it is a family movie and pizza night for sure!

We started the day off by going to bed...Aaron and I stayed up until 1 a.m. working on a HUGE mailing for my Superstar Scentsy Director and of course watching a movie to make the time seem fun =) Then we awake at 7:15 (which is early at our house) to the sound of Klayton babbling in his crib.

Now the reason this is strange is that Kale was nowhere in site...he was actually still in bed! Kale is our "early" riser and he often wakes everyone up each day. So to hear Klayton and not Kale first was a surprise. Kale ended up sleeping in today until nearly 9!

We then headed as a family to the gym. Kids to the play center, Aaron to the weights/cardio and me to Zumba. Today was my first day doing the class with my friend Pam as teacher. That girl can move! It was alot of fun and I am sure the row behind me enjoyed laughing at me not being able to do the moves very well.

I hope to be shaking it with the best of them in a few months...

Then we all came home and took naps...sweet sleep! Klayton slept for 4 hours! Craziness broke out at the end of nap time as the peacefulness ended when the phone rang. WHY OH WHY....are kids sweet and nice and then the minute the phone rings they are fighting! I had 2 of my down-line on the phone needing help with putting in their first orders...I kept going back and forth between lines, SOleil hitting Kale and Kale screaming and then Klayton wakes up with a poopy diaper...

Haha! A day in the life of me... so Aaron is picking up a pizza, I will run out and check the mail and let the weekend begin!

Super Cute BInder Purse

2010-02-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

Ok for us Coupon Divas here is a fun giveaway you can enter at www.athriftymom.com!

Here is the blog site! http://stylinbinders.blogspot.com

Now go enter to win!

Kale can be sweet if he wants to...

2010-02-25T10:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a certain un-welcomed visitor showed up. She comes every month stays for a few horrible, energy sucking days and then finally leaves. So normally I work out on Wednesdays but since I felt the need to stay home and keep her company...she did offer to come with and suck my energy as I worked out, but I decided to hide out at home to deal with her. So we all had a pj day and folded laundry and watched movies.

Kale must have sensed that mommy was not happy about her visitor and he was extra sweet and nice. He laid on his tummy on a pillow on the couch and watched me fold laundry and then later sat and read some books! It was so nice to see that even though we call him "Mr. Grumpy" for a reason, he does have his sweet times and I treasure every one. He even humored me by using the potty a few times.

I finally showered and got ready for church around 4:30 and the rest of the evening was quite pleasant. My visitor eased up on making me feel ill and today is a brand new day. I think she is hiding out not being so loud and obnoxious... which is always nice. Couple more days and she will be gone and then mommy's happy mood can be back too =)

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

2010-02-22T16:04:00.000-08:00

So I KNOW I promised pics of our trip and yes I realize that we got back 2 weeks ago...BUT my husband...ok I will take some of the blame thought we wouldn't need a REAL camera and I can't figure out how to up-load the crappy pics from our phones. So until then. Sorry. It WAS fun though!

Warm weather, NO kids, NO kids and did I mention...SLEEP! YEAH! We loved it!

We did the whole Hollywood Blvd. Walk of fame thing...which was fun for us and then went to the wax museum too. I was brave and we ate at a Sushi place down there. Just the thought of sushi makes me want to gag, but contrary to what I thought, not all sushi is raw slimy fish. It was actually....wait for it...good, as in yummy. I know this made Aaron gloat with happiness as he had been trying to get me to try it for a long long time.

We also went to a Target so big that it had it's own parking garage and an escalator and this really cool thing ...kind of like an escalator for a cart! If Kate is reading this I am sure she remembers the first time I rode on an escalator...yes I am easily amused!

On Saturday of our trip we went down to 3rd street Prominade in Santa MOnica...that was alot of fun and also had lunch at PF Changs. We saw someone famous, but don't know who ...couldn't see very well through the paparazzi guys following them.

Saturday night we went to a "Read and White" party at a little cozy "club"...it was fun. Good food, some wine (don't drink myself, but others par-took) and some reading. Met some great business contacts for both of us.

Sunday Aaron was off bright and early to meet with Bill Meyers the author and I stayed in bed until 10! WAHOO! Then I got ready, had some breakfast, watched a little tv (we don't watch tv at home so this was really a treat) I got my fill of HGTV for awhile =) Then I called the front desk and the nice shuttle dude took me to the mall. Had alot of fun there. Got lost and went around in circles looking for the nail shop. FINALLY found it with my mall GPS (kidding) and had myself a nice manicure/pedicure and some cute little flowers painted on too. Only $36 for both! That is so cheap! In Idaho you are lucky to get one for that price.

Aaron picked me up and then we went to Inn and Out Burger (yummy) and then took a nap (we stayed up too late every night) and after that is when we went down to Hollywood and then of course stayed up way too late again...watching HGTV.

I didn't want to come home and it took me a good week to get back to reality...but I did miss the kids...so good to be a mommy...

Aaron's synopsis is that he misses California and how fast you can drive! I didn't see one speed limit sign the entire time and guess what...I didn't see one single accident either! AMAZING isn't it? Something to think about...

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

2010-02-05T12:15:00.000-08:00

Winging out way to L.A. tonight for my birthday weekend and some other businessy stuff. Did you know it is $25 PER bag EACH way! YIKES! So of course we decided to carry on... I managed to cram everything including a party dress and matching shoes into my back-pack. I also of course am bringing a Scentsy warmer and a bunch of bars as a gift for a friend that we will be seeing while down there. So I will either come home lighter and wearing 4 outfits if we do any shopping. PROMISE to take pics and post them next week!

More couponing...

2010-02-04T14:40:00.000-08:00

Ok if anyone gets tired of these feel free to let me know.

I am not showing these to "brag" but I am hoping to inspire others as we live in times where saving money is very much needed.

Price before sale, clearance and coupons-$113.25...Price after- $42.68

Cereal- $1.50 each (plus there are coupons for diapers on the backs of 3 of the boxes!

Darigold Sour Cream-50 cents each

Fresh Express Salad- 47 cents each

Diapers- $2.99

Kotex Tampons-$1.63 each

Degree Deodorant- $2.63 per "gift set" 2 normal sized and 1 travel sized(cames out to $1.31 each and travel size FREE)(Laughing at the notion that ANYONE might want this for a gift, but her....

Just went back to Brunette

2010-02-03T21:30:00.001-08:00

I get the itch to switch...about once a year so it's back to Brunette for now =) Plus it was getting expensive having to go in every 2 1/2 - 3 months...I'll miss seeing my wonderful hair lady, Marty though...she is AWESOME! She did my hair today even when she had been up all night with sick kids because she wanted me to look pretty for my trip... Now that my friends is priceless! LOVE YOU MARTY!

Coupon Craziness!

2010-02-02T13:15:00.000-08:00

As you may know my mother got me hooked on coupon craziness....

So here are my most recent "hauls" from last night and this morning.

Before Sale and Coupons this would have cost $110.49...I paid $19.95

12- Bottles ALL detergent (32 loads each) $1.49 each
1pgk- Albertson's brand diapers- $2.99
12- Jars Ragu 50 cents each
10- boxes quaker instant oatmeal -FREE

Shampoo and Conditioner-50 cents each

And for this...Would have cost $171.19...I paid $17.93

5-Boxes Life Cereal- $1 each
2-Ragu Alfredo- 50 cents each
6- Half Gallons Breyers- $1.50 each
12- Boxes Granola Bars- 10 were FREE and the other 2 were $1 each

SOOOOOO EXCITED!

2010-02-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

Aaron has the opportunity to fly to L.A. to meet with a printer and a bunch of authors and also BILL MEYERS. If you are around my age you might remember "McGee and Me" videos. Well Bill Meyers is the creator/writer. He has written count-less other books etc...well he has a bunch of books that he want to re-print and so he contacted Aaron.

Sooooo since next weekend IS my birthday. I begged to go along and Aaron said yes...hehehe So I am taggin along and we will spend just one night and one morning on business and the rest on FUN!

We found fantastic tickets to include hotel for only $288 and they are direct flights! WAHOO! Plus a super cheap rental car. Who says booking at the last minute is more expensive?

So we get in late friday night, have all day Saturday to do whatever then Saturday night is the party thing, Sunday morning we are going to Bill Meyers house, then we do whatever for the rest of Sunday and fly home Monday morning.

I am one happy person/wife/mommy!

Sooooo Close and a Little Bummed

2010-02-01T07:39:00.000-08:00

So as some of you may know I have been earning a trip to Hawaii from Scentsy.

To earn it you needed 24,000 points. As of January 1st (the last month to qualify) I needed 4,200. I sat down and figured out where they would need to come from. I would need 4 of my team to hit certified (first $1,000 in sales) 1 needed $50. 1 needed $1,000, 1 needed $850 and 1 needed $450. I would then need 1 recruit and $1500 in sales.

Well it wasn't looking to hopeful the end of the month fast approaching. I had almost $1,000 in sales, I recruited my person. But I had 2 parties cancel. Last night I decided at 9 p.m. to take one last look. The $50 girl still needed $50. $1,000 ONLY needed $205! $850 girl blew right over hers and $450 girl only needed $200.

I tried what I could, but it just didn't happen. So of course because I am a girl...I cried and then we watched a sad movie so I cried more and then I went to bed and had bad dreams.

But today I woke up and I feel relieved. I did my BEST. That was the FIRST trip I had ever tried for and although I can pout about missing it by $950 worth of sales. I can be HAPPY, yes HAPPY that I ONLY missed it by $950. Next trip look out!

Engineer for a Day

2010-02-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

So Saturday I was feeling refreshed and fantastic! We took the kids down to Boise State University for "Engineer for a Day" it was fun...I think next year Aaron will just take Soleil though. They had several "all ages" activities including building and edible equosphere (spelling?) with tooth picks and gum drops. All that was left of Kale's after about a minute were of course sticks. Soleil's at least made it home...part of it anyways. There were all kinds of classes and things to do, but you had to sign up and by the time we got there around 11 a.m. they were full. Next year ...get there at 9 a.m. sign up and THEN go do the open activities.

Side not while we were there I did get into a discussion with a lady. She had 6 kids and the youngest was a little younger then Klayton. I told her Klayton was our last one. She replied "Oh we said that too!" I laughed because MANY people say this comment to me. I then told her it was permanent and it was ME. The color completely left my face when she said "Oh me too and then here HE is" AHHHHHHH! Do NOT tell me this people! Seriously though I don't think I am so much scared of getting pregnant as WHAT IF I DID and it got stuck in my tube? Well Aaron said what would happen? "Oh my tube would burst and then I would have to go to the ER" He smarts off "Well at least it's nothing serious" and then we both laughed. Seriously I just can't worry about what if's today!

Birthday Date Night

2010-01-30T20:13:00.000-08:00

So since it was such a crazy not so fun week...

About 4:00 p.m. yesterday I asked Aaron if we could have my birthday date night a week early. He replied with "get a sitter" which in guys terms means "YES!" WAHOO! My spirits were instantly lifted!

So I called Heather and being the wonderful and amazing sitter she is said yes even though she was tired and had already watched other kids all day. I LOVE her! So off I went to get ready and so I put the boys in the tub to splash around (and maybe even get clean) while I got ready. I was putting the finishing touches on my mascara when I heard "Uh, OH POTTY!" I looked over and yes...Kale had pooped in the tub...how fun! Thankfully I had already removed Klayton and so I got Kale out and proceeded to start the cleaning process...

Heather arrived around 7 and I was so happy to get away from kids and poopy tub.
We thought about going to PF Changs, but I really just wanted to go shopping...Aaron is fun to shop with he has excellent taste and a knack for picking out really great shirts etc...for me. So after a quick stop at the cell phone kiosk to transfer his numbers onto his new phone...I hit Sephora for some new eyeliner and eyeshadow.

Next we went to Maurices and although he swore I would look like a popsicle in a certain green shirt...even he had to agree it looked "hot" so a few more items there and using a couple coupons I had. Checked out a couple more stores, but didn't find anything.

Went to Old Chicago for Turkey Burger for me and Club sandwich for him. Ended the evening with a coffee, movie at home...

All in all it was fabulous! AND I still get to have "ME DAY" on my actual birthday next saturday... It's the only day of the year I have an entire day child-free, guilt-free, shopping, lunch and whatever...usually a friend comes along to. It's the best! I started this tradition for myself last year when Aaron was working out of town. I needed it after all those months being a "single mom" during the week.

I'll be sure to post about that. I really will try to do more pictures...I can't figure out how to up-load from my phone to the web yet...

Next post will be about taking the kids to "Be an Engineer for a Day
"

Oh almost forgot...

2010-01-27T23:13:00.001-08:00

In case you like my family have the winter blah's...here is a good site for activities that are truly simple!

http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/

Enjoy!

Another day in paradise!

2010-01-27T23:05:00.000-08:00

Have you heard the country song...."Just another day in paradise" ...."Kids screaming, phone ringing, post man knocking at my door,....just another day in paradise"

Kind of has been my song this week...

I woke up this morning and was SURE today would be new and fresh and everyone would be feeling wonderful...

Klayton started off really happy, but by 11 a.m. was back to screaming and crying and tugging at his left ear =( I had to let him cry himself to sleep for his first nap=(
The afternoon was not much better and again he cried himself to sleep for his 2nd nap. Convinced Aaron we needed a trip to our chiropractor Dr. Thompson and so we all went and made a family outing of it. I think the car ride was a fantastic idea. We were all just getting cabin fever! Then Aaron even took us all to Fuddruckers on the way back and Klayton was happy the entire time! YEAH! Home and got all the kiddos bathed and into bed.

Kale was up a few minutes after being put down...he was tugging at his diaper and I asked him if he needed to go potty and he ran to the bathroom! YEAH YEAH YEAH! He only had 2 accidents today and he really seems to know what to do when he gets on the potty so that excites me! I was tempted to scrap the training this week since it's been so rough, but I think we are off to a good start so will stick with it.

Finishing the evening by watching Hair Spray...pretty funny. I think Aaron is watching another movie while I surf around on the internet. When the days are rough it is quite nice to stay up late and enjoy the peace and quiet!

Klayton's 1 year old pics

2010-01-26T17:09:00.000-08:00

SO here are a few of the results from yesterdays photo shoot...

Today was even my crazy except I wasn't as moody...Right now Aaron is home and feeding the kids dinner while I escape...

Klayton literally screamed whenever I was not holding him today. So I spent alot of time on facebook and watching movies. Poor Soleil she is so good even when she is not getting any attention whatsoever.

On a good note Kale did use the potty twice! I can tell he is getting how to "release" and likes wiping alot.

Hopefully the evening is more peaceful. I am trying to get some of my car seat covers finished so I can start new ones...an ongoing project. I even sell a few here and there and give them as gifts... Need to take some pics.

Trying to be better, but it's just another crappy day!

2010-01-25T20:12:00.000-08:00

Ok so inspired by my husband who faithfully blogs every single day...I am going to attempt...no promises, but maybe I will actually get some readers if I say up date more than once a quarter!

So today started out ok enough...text from a friend who said her husband rolled their jeep, but he is ok...the car of course is not. Tried in vain to go back to sleep so up I got and after getting Kale some breakfast and flipping on a movie...aka...morning babysitter. I hopped in the shower and then threw on something comfy to hide how bloated and well let's just say hormonal and menstrual I am feeling. Got the kids ready and of course got irritated because we were not getting out the door on time.

Off we finally were to get Klayton's one year old pictures taken. Got a coffee at Moxie and actually had time to chat with my fav barista Sarah. Dropped Soleil and Kale off at our favorite sitters and then took Klayton to Target to get his pics. Poor guy has been teething and thus snotting and drooling all over everything.

Normally he is so smiley and happy, but today could only muster a few grins for the camera. It is bittersweet that my baby, my third, my....last child...is now 1! When does baby-hood end and child-hood begin? For now I will hold on tight to each precious moment.

After pics picked up kids and headed home threw some lunch together and got Klayton down for a nap...he was soooo tired and just could tell he was feeling crappy. Sewed for just a little bit and then the Scentsy came! Wahoo! It's always like christmas. I told him in a stern voice that he was LATE! He normally comes around 11...LOL He kinda looked shocked until I laughed. Poor guy! Just trying to do his job!

Well the afternoon and evening just went down-hill. Kale is getting into everything! "No Kale get out of the trash" "No Kale don't throw play-doh on the floor" "No Kale get away from mommy's sewing machine!" AHHHHHHHH! And because I am on my period...I ran upstairs upset and overwhelmed and promptly threw myself on the couch for a good cry...only it was short-lived because Aaron had to leave and I had to try and be a grown-up.

How do we do it...we woman? Day after day...whiny kids, sick kids, housework, cooking, cleaning, errands, work, husbands... It's enough to make you want to climb the walls. That's just what I did tonight. Tried to literally climb my walls. What a crazy day.

I know tomorrow will be better and I will look back and just a horrible memory. It's the moments of goodness in our lives. A child's hug, smile or funny re-mark. Soleil kept coming up to me all day and just giving me hugs. She said "mommy do you need a hug? It's a rough day huh?" Holding back tears I willingly gave into her adorable ways of love and even as a child she understands what mommy needs on a rough day. Just a few hugs.

2009-10-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

Okay at the request of my mother I am posting a new post... She reminded me for the millionth time that I had not written anything new since August and if I was going to have a blog then I should probably do just that..BLOG...

We are currently in Montana for 2 weeks. Although I thought I was coming for fun and family it has turned into a business trip for both Aaron and I. He is working his job and also has 3 or 4 book signings for his recently released "Dream On" part 2 of the WJA series. I have 4 Scentsy parties and 2 craft fairs and if that wasn't enough it's the end of the month...My team is pushing me towards Superstar consultant! YEAH!

I must not look that busy though...already my dad enlisted me to work with him yesterday and most likely tomorrow too. Although I kinda feel like the grunt man. My dad and my brother get to sit on their behinds all day on the rider lawn mowers while I get to do all the trimming and run the blower...haha That's what you get when you haven't done "manual labor" in 7 years... So it's good to get a work-out and fresh air and even a little money.

The kids of course are having a grand time getting to play all day at grandma's. Soleil talks constantly about what she will do "when I turn 16" (shudder) Kale insists on turning any object into some sort of gun or weapon and runs around "shooting" everything and Klayton...my sweet baby just got his first 2 teeth and he is just a happy nice baby almost all the time.

So I do have a valid reason for not blogging constantly and I doubt it will get any easier... Family and work just keep getting busier, but I will try to do better...someday...

Oh! My! Where did it go?

2009-08-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

Summer I mean... Seems I was just wishing it would come and now it's almost September! BUSY BUSY AUGUST! Aaron came back with a van load of kids for summer camp...so 2 weekends with a house full of my kids and a bunch of teenagers! Eating my food, making a mess....anyways =)
Then went to Scentsy convention in Salt Lake..."woot, woot" so fun! Over $250 in FREE stuff which who wouldn't want that! Had a most interesting embarrassing moment on the morning we were leaving. RAN...and I DO mean RAN...down to the first floor because someone was in the shower in our room and I had to GO NOW! We are talking no bra, hair a mess...went down BARELY made it....did my thing and said a quick prayer that I would not see anyone I knew on the way back up. So I even waited and was looking in the mirror that points down the hall before making a beeline for the elevators. All clear I stepped forward and in from outside steps my director's husband....who she calls McHottie (and for a very good reason!) Needless to say I almost died right there and then had to ride up 9 floors with him and THEN after making myself look like a person we all ate breakfast together as a team. Oh the agony...haha anyways it was embarrassing.
Then Aaron was home for 10 days which was just plain wonderful, but all good things must come to an end and he went back to Montana =(
So now just finishing up the month of August which family and business wise has been fantastic in every way! Even got a date night on Saturday...
Had quite an interesting Sunday school lesson. Was supposed to be on respecting your husband and his need to conquer and then turned into a 20 minute admonishment to have sex OFTEN... I mean he made us yell it! LOL... I'd say 6 out of 8 days is often wouldn't you so I giggled, turned a little red and asked Mr. Thomas if he wouldn't mind sending out a daily reminder e-mail to the class... hahaha At least I got a laugh even if Aaron wanted to bury me under the chair.
Klayton is currently on a nursing strike which is just plain no fun at all! He will nurse really well very early in the morning, again around noon and then from there until bed-time...a sip every few hours...he is cranky as all get out and so therefore I am as well! UGH! I try forcing him, bottle, other food...NOPE! Will not do it...I have been letting him have some water to keep him from dying...UGH! Let it end! Ok...SO that catches you up to present...sorry I've been so lazy for the 3 people that even read my blog...hahaha

August SCENTSY Clearance!

2009-08-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

So it's that time...twice a year when Scentsy reveals what they are discontinuing... so here is the list... it's all 10% off and FREE shipping to the Boise or Missoula area...
You can call me...because I just love to chat with you anyways... or go to my web site to actually view the products. I am always looking for more fantastic people to join my team so if you know anyone, you tell them about it and they sign up YOU get $25 cash or $30 in FREE products... $99 to sign up and August is AWESOME because they get a TON of extra stuff!

Did I mention Scentsy convention is in just 6 days! WAHOO! I'll tell you all about it when I get home!

www.scentsy.com/karissa

GONE FOREVER after this month!

Discontinued Warmers
Bombay (DSW-BBAY)
Brownstone (DSW-BSTN)
Classic Chocolate (DSW-SCHO)
Dandy Plug-in Black (PSW-DBLK)
Dandy Plug-in Brown (PSW-DBRN)
Dandy Plug-in White (PSW-DWTE)
Dragonfly (DSW-DFLY)
Jakarta (DSW-JAKA)
Luminous (DSW-LUMI)
Patina (DSW-PATI)
Pressed Penny (DSW-PPEN)
Punched Tin (DSW-PTIN)
Raised Dot Black (DSW-DOTB)
Raised Dot Mocha (DSW-DOTM)
Raised Dot Turquoise (DSW-DOTT)
Retro Chic (DSW-RETR)
Shabby Chic (DSW-SHCH)
Weave Plug-in Black (PSW-WBLK)
Weave Plug-in Brown (PSW-WBRN)
Weave Plug-in White (PSW-WWTE)

Discontuned Scents
Blueberry Cheesecake (BBC)
Cashmere (CAS)
Eucalyptus (EUC)
Exotic Vanilla (EXV)
Falling Leaves (FAL)
Fresh Cut Cantaloupe (FCC)
Grapefruit Blossom (GFB)
Grapefruit Pomegranate (GFP)
Havana Cabana (HVC)
Hearth & Home (SOTM) (HNH)
Herb Garden (HBG)
Irish Cream (IRC)
Juicy Peach (JCP)
Leather (LEA) (Bars and Bricks)
Lemon Lavender (LMV)
Lots of Lavender (LOL)
Luxe Vanilla (LUX)
Meadow Pear (MDP)
Mediterranean Spa (MTS)
Mulberry Bush (MBB)
Mysterious (MYS)
Nutmeg & Orange Zest (NOZ)
Pomegranate Orange (PGO)
Red Delicious (RED)
Sandalwood & Cranberries (SWC)
Sangria (SNG)
Sheer Saffron (SOTM) (SHE)
Silk (SLK)
Spiced Orange Harvest (SOH)
Spruceberry (SPR)
Strawberry Sweetie (SBS)
Sweet Indulgence (SWI)
Sugar (SGR)
Sweet Tea Magnolia (SWT)
Tarocco Mint (SOTM) (TRM)
Tea Blossom (TEA)
Toasted Apple Butter (TAB)
Tuscan Garden (TUS)
Verbena Berry (VBY)
Wasabi Ginger (WSG)
Watermelon Patch (WMP)

Where is my camera anyways? (and other random thoughts)

2009-07-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was a really crazy, fun day...Maybe not by others standards or opinions of what fun is, but I am weird and I thought it was great.

Started the day off bright and early for a Saturday anyways. Got up at 6:45 threw on whatever matched and being pulling stuff onto our driveway for my BIG garage sale. By 7:30 a.m. my friend Sarah and her husband Jon had arrived, we had set everything up, signs were up and we were ready for the (we hoped) crowds of people.

...and come they did! Originally we were only going to have the sale until 1 p.m. but ended up going until 2p.m. Steady all day and at times CRAZY BUSY! All in all we raked in almost $800! I sold $375 in Scentsy alone at the garage sale. I will be doing that again for sure! $25 for an add = $775 profit! I think that's pretty darn good!

By the time we packed it all in which was only 1 or 2 big items and 2 boxes of small stuff...I was hot and tired. Took a quick shower and changed into my pj's for what ended up being the rest of the day!

After naps I filled up our turtle sand-box (which ironically has no sand in it) up with water and let the kids go crazy with the water and hose in the back yard. Kale's diaper must have weighed at least 15 pounds after all that and so like any weird mom I let him run around in the nude for a bit. I took a pic with my phone of this whole scene, but not sure how to go about getting it off and Aaron said it's too blurry anyways.
So you will just have to imagine a 4 year old girl running around in her most favorite pink and brown swim suit brandishing the hose at her brother whenever he tries to get near with his naked little butt showing of his tan lines from previous swim days where he of course was not nakie. All this while running and laughing and just generally having a blast until their mom ruined it all by calling "bath time"

But then again bath time means more water and consequently more water all over my bathroom...oh, well they are only little once and my floor got a much needed mopping in the process. Then snacks and and all kids were tucked in bed by 7:45p.m.!

So what did I do? The usual: check facebook, read blogs and the best part a HUGE bubble bath while watching "Monster-In-Law" and eating popcorn and occasionly texting...

And that my friends was a fabulous day to me.

Couponing

2009-07-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

So I have heard for a year or so now about these CRAZY women...who clip millions of coupons, carry binders and get their groceries for pretty much free...Well...Thanks to my mother and a local lady who has a web site: www.athriftymom.com I am now one too...

I haven't exactly mastered it yet...I was just nervous asking for another ad at Albertson's today so I could do my 3 transactions all with double coupons. So I did and I didn't mess up and I got: 2 gallons of milk for 50 cents each, 2-32oz. containers of yogurt for 79 cents each and 8-8oz. bags of shredded cheese for 50 cents each! WAHOO!

Let the savings and obviously freezing begin...

Random Pictures of the Kids

2009-07-20T21:09:00.001-07:00

Soleil at a park in Missoula...Kale in the car (pretty sure Soleil took that) and Klayton on the changing table...all of these places make my kids happy...no idea why.

Sometimes we all just need a good cry!

2009-07-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

This post really has nothing much to do with Klayton...but this picture represents my feelings over the last few days...

So ever since Thursday night when I found out my dear friend Amber (and her family) are moving back to Minnesota, I have been 2 seconds from tears and have cried many times... I am sure she felt bad since she had only known for a couple of hours, but really ONE WEEK? That's all I get to adjust to this news? So as she is telling me I burst into tears right in the middle of Gymboree and proceeded to burst into tears several more times that evening.
Then Aaron gets home at 1 a.m. Friday morning and of course I am still up facebooking and then creating this blog. He knows immediately that something is wrong. We crawl into bed and I blubber like a baby about how much I am going to miss her and how shall my life go on. He tries to comfort me the best he can, but I sob and sob.
I do pretty well until Sunday the day Aaron always has to leave to go back to work in Montana (UGH!) Someone at church asks me how I am doing and poor un-suspecting woman sees me burst into tears again and cry about how Aaron is leaving. Of course Sunday afternoon just gets worse when he REALLY does leave...so I cry myself to sleep for a nap. Today is not much better...I realize he has to have a job, but WHY WHY WHY ... It has been more than 8 months and I honestly don't know how much longer I can make it... SO I am waiting and praying and seeking the Lord's guidance. Can I just have an answer Lord...I want/need/crave to be with my husband and weekend visitation rights just aren't cutting it.

I said all this to vent and YES I know it could be worse...he could be overseas in the war and for this I am thankful that he is here, he is safe...I just want him HOME...

Kids!

2009-07-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

Do every just look at your kids and wonder "what are they thinking?" Take for instance this lovely shot of Soleil. She seems to think it is great fun to grab the camera when mommy is busy and take pictures of anything and everything. This includes about a million self-portrait shots including pics of her tonsils, ear, foot and any other part of her face she can get it close to. I have also found in looking through her photo "art" some rather interesting pictures of my butt, stomach and other non-flattering angles. Stay tuned for more of her work soon.

Kale always thinking up trouble and doing as boys do, getting into trouble and getting dirty...and learning new words "NO!" is what he shouts most often. One thing is for sure he is one determined little boy. He is for sure giving us a run for our money!

Klayton...sweet and laid back. The perfect baby to have as a surprise if you weren't planning another. Sleeps through the night, has since he was 2 months. I mean 8 - 9 or even 10 a.m.! How blessed am I? When we are sitting just the two of us on the little couch in his room...nursing and snuggling...it just doesn't get any better or more peaceful than that...of course until Kale bursts in...

2009-07-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

So since it seems to be the thing to do, not to mention a good way of letting off steam... Here it is the debut of the Patterson Family Blog...